Reversal of Fortunes
by A True Radical Dreamer
Summary: The Cursed Jewel has an interesting effect should it fall onto a different person. Canon is thrown to the wind in this rewrite of an old story! Ranma, Shampoo, and Ukyo-centric.
1. Chapter 1

This, folks, is a complete rewrite. The old story? Yeah, it's gotten a face-lift. And a plot-lift. And just about any other lift you can put on a fiction. Read and review, alright?

* * *

Oh yeah, any second now. The moment he had stepped inside the house Ranma could tell that there was a storm brewing somewhere with his name on it. It was coming! His number was up!

"Ran-ma, you **idiot**!"

Yup. There it was. Despite knowing full-well what he had done, Ranma felt it wise to play dumb. "What'd I do this time?! I just got back!"

"Well, they seem to be getting along well…" Nabiki sarcastically snipped as she sipped her tea. The oh-so-happy couple, Ranma and Akane, had actually managed to remain civil to one another at breakfast that morning but now that school was over the peace was shattered. Especially since Ranma had came in over an hour after Akane.

Ranma's answer obviously wasn't what Akane was looking for as she started letting off even more steam. She was already in her training gi and had no doubt been slaughtering some bricks in the dojo. Now she was eager for a live target.

"You know exactly what you did! You were at Ukyo's, probably hanging off of her, begging for food. Don't you have any self respect?" Akane's attempt at not seeming jealous was transparent, though, but no one would call her on it for fear of falling into the kill zone.

"That's what's got you all angry? I just wanted some cooking that wouldn't kill me since you said you were gonna make something!"

Okay, that was the wrong thing to say. Nabiki grabbed her cup to steady it as Akane belted Ranma so fiercely that the house shook. Best martial artist of his age in the city and he couldn't dodge the worst. Akane was still grumbling as she stormed off back to the dojo, leaving Ranma face down on the floor.

Nabiki demurely sipped her tea as Ranma scraped himself up, not bothering to help. "You have a way with words, Saotome. I'll give you that."

Ranma finally managed to get to his knees and shot a glare at Nabiki. "Stupid tomboy taking out her crummy cooking skills on me. I wouldn't even wish that on Ryoga."

"Ranma, you really are an idiot."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

Nabiki didn't answer with words. Rather, she simply pointed to a spot behind the boy as she finished off her tea. Unfortunately for Ranma, Akane hadn't gone far enough away before he had started his rant and was now looming over her prey like a seagull swooping down upon a helpless baby ocean turtle. He did open his mouth to say something that would forestall righteous vengeance, but he seemed to think better off it and sighed in defeat a moment before the mallet hit.

Soun, who had joined Nabiki after getting home from a city counsel meeting, sighed; these kids were going to be the death of him yet. He almost choked on the tea as Akane stomped up behind him and flopped down at the table, roughly grabbing a cup for herself.

"Idiot. I can't believe he said that. He knows that my cooking isn't that bad!" the short-haired girl huffed. Nabiki and Soun exchanged looks and the former sagged her shoulders. She loved her sister but sometime Akane could be a bit thick.

"And look at the direction he took off. The pervert is headed right towards the Nekohanten and Shampoo! Can you believe him, you guys?" Akane restlessly got up from the table and vaguely motioned at the direction where she had launched Ranma. By this time Nabiki had disappeared into her room and Soun was pretending to be very interested with something in the dojo, leaving a fuming Akane to rant to anyone who was still in earshot.

* * *

"Aiya. Shampoo work too-too hard today."

A familiar purple-haired girl was spending the early afternoon hours of the day sweeping the front porch of the most authentic Chinese restaurant in Nerima. She stopped for a moment and sighed, looking back inside at her great grandmother and her idiotic childhood friend, wishing that there was someone else around to liven up her day.

Usually, of course, wishes do **not** come true but in this case a "shooting star" was hurtling towards her direction signed, sealed, and delivered by Akane Tendo. Shampoo did live in Nerima, after all. If there was any place in the world where random things happened, it was here.

Just as the Amazon was about to step inside and see what her great-grandmother was doing, a certain pigtailed martial artist landed with a deafening boom right across the street from her. Skipping over to her husband, Shampoo hummed a happy tune and thanked whoever was looking out for her up in heaven for such a lucky break. Well, maybe next time they could deliver Ranma conscious, but that was just the fine print.

Inside the restaurant another Chinese woman was having a good day. The small owner of the Nekohanten was sitting atop a vacant table, hunched over a pile of glittering jewelery like a mother hen watching its eggs. Cologne's mood was not one of greed, however. Instead, there was an easygoing smile on her lips as she dutifully looked over and cleaned every piece in her collection.

"I haven't seen some of these things in ages." The Grand Master of Joketsuzoku ran a weathered thumb over the surface of a jade pendant, lost in its white luster. "So many decades have gone by..."

"Old Ghoul, what's this?"

Cologne absently swatted the taste out of Mousse's mouth while she looked over what he had been pointing at. When what it was clicked, she snapped her fingers and laughed., "Oh, that old thing! How could I forget this?"

Mousse, who had just managed to scrape himself off the floor, adjusted his glasses. In Cologne's hand was a small broach with what looked like two faces on either end. "What is is?" he repeated. Mousse considered himself to be a decent-enough Amazon and he had never seen a trinket like it back in the village.

"It is called the Reversal Jewel. A small party prank from my childhood," the elder explained. "You pin it on someone's clothes with the sad face up and the jewel's magic turns love into hate. Likewise, if you place the happy face up, their feelings of true love will be amplified. We used to have so much fun with this."

"Sounds annoying," Mousse replied in mock-indifference. Cologne's response to this was to crack him with her staff yet again before Shampoo caught her attention. Said great-granddaughter was dragging in a battered and, by now, semi-conscious Ranma. At the sight of her unofficial apprentice, she promptly forgot the bauble she was reminiscing about and hopped over to the pair.

Unfortunately, Mousse was not quite out of it enough not to notice Ranma's arrival. His hated rival was within striking distance and there wasn't anything he could do about it. Shampoo and Cologne would come down on him like the wrath of god. Well, at least he could ignore the other teen and mumble. No one could take away his mumbles, damn it! Now, though, Shampoo was patching Ranma up and with such a smile that Mousse would have given an arm to have it directed him him. It was too much to bare. If only there was some way to just get it to stop!

But what? All of Mousse's old ideas hadn't exactly panned out. True, he had been more of a hindrance than that idiot Ryoga or the dozen other martial artists that would meander through Nerima in an average week, but there was no mistake that he wasn't a big physical threat anymore. Well, that just meant it was time to use the one thing Mousse did have over Ranma; brain power. The Chinese boy slowly let his eyes wander over to the pile of trinkets and zoomed in on one in particular. The Reversal Jewel...that could work! If he were to somehow get it onto Shampoo, she would chase Ranma off! Of course, there was always the chance that the exact opposite would happen. If Shampoo was hiding her feelings for him, which Mousse was sure she was, then she'd probably beat him up instead.

Wait, how was that any different than usual? Right. On with the plan!

"…and then Airen fall from sky and hit pavement." Shampoo recapped the incident that was responsible for the young Saotome's visit. She was putting on the last bandage and was just happy to have Ranma around.

"I still don't see how Akane manages to hit him, let alone knock him this far," Cologne mused. Well, never look a gift-horse in the mouth, right? Getting Ranma to visit was like trapping a wild animal; give it shelter, food, and attention and it will stick around for awhile. "Mousse, get us some ramen! And I'll know if you do something to it!" For once, the boy snapped to attention and did as he was told. Cologne idly watched him for some ulterior motive, but was distracted by Shampoo.

"Aiya…Akane beat on husband far too much. Shampoo need to teach her lesson about abusing people," Shampoo said in her usual broken Japanese. She knew it would only be idle talk, however. Ranma would probably get mad at her if she were to challenge her rival over some feeling of obligation.

Indeed, Ranma _would_ get mad, but he knew Shampoo was just blowing off some steam. "I guess I kinda had it coming. You know how she is about her cooking," he defended.

Cologne interjected before Shampoo could disagree. "Indeed. I can appreciate a pride in one's art, but then again, some people take it a bit too personally."

Mousse was just coming back from the kitchen and he set the three bowls of ramen out for Shampoo, Cologne, and Ranma. He was just about to slip the broach on Shampoo when Ranma leaned over and blocked his view. He fought down a wave of anger at the boy, but kept himself in check while his rival argued with Cologne to swap their orders. He maneuvered around and finally spotted an opening. Subtly lunging with his arm, he almost shouted in joy when he felt the pin slip into fabric.

Unfortunately for Mousse, Ranma had chosen that moment to get to his feet to argue more with the old crone for her beef ramen and had gotten in the way. He paused mid-shout and blinked, seemingly forgetting what he was saying. It was an odd thing for him.

"Huh? What was I...saying?" Ranma asked himself. He looked around and, seemingly noticing the slightly confused looks from the two Amazons, grunted and sat back down. "Nevermind. This is fine." He began wolfing down his own miso ramen without another word, seemingly eating it as fast as possible.

Shampoo shared a look with her great grandmother. "Shampoo can cook Ranma more ramen if he want," she offered. Again, Ranma only grunted and the purple-haired girl dropped the conversation. Maybe he was upset about something else?

Cologne, however, was mildly annoyed at the abrupt attitude change. She had been playing around with the boy earlier, but if he was honestly upset about something as silly as what type of **free** ramen he got then there was some correction in order. "You should be thankful that you are spared leftovers at the Tendo Dojo," she reminded.

"At least they wouldn't annoy me so much," Ranma mumbled. Finishing, he got up from his chair and dug out some yen from his pocket to pay for the meal. "There. Now ya can't say I owe ya anything." Before anyone could comment on his abruptness, he started to walk out of the restaurant with a sour expression.

The elder Amazon shook her head at her son-in-law. She knew he was upset at being knocked half way across Nerima, but that was no excuse for being so difficult. It seemed like whenever Ranma warmed up to the two of them something would go wrong and make the entire situation worse than it was before! Really, the elder had never seen such a well of bad luck.

Shampoo, on the other hand, was looking at the money like it was something dirty. Never before had Ranma ever paid for anything and it was an unspoken agreement between anyone that would feed him that money really wasn't needed. It was just something they'd do to make life a bit easier on him. Even Kodachi understood that much.

"Are you alright?"

The uncharacteristic softness in Mousse's voice did little more than make the girl feel worse. "Is fine. Shampoo go put in register." With little more reluctance, she scooped up the yen and made her way into the back.

Although it hurt to see Shampoo upset like that, the plan had worked out better than expected! In fact, the mistake had just made it better than the original. Now it was Ranma who was to blame for everything! Eventually Shampoo would wake up and use Mousse's shoulder to cry and then...and then...

"You're looking very happy at my great granddaughter's discomfort, Mousse," Cologne snapped. She was still trying to figure out why Ranma was acting like a brat all of a sudden and she didn't need another headache to deal with. "Go put away my affects and then get started on the dishes. I have business to attend to." Without further adieu, Cologne pogo'd out of the restaurant and left the perpetrator at the scene of the crime.

Oh yes, today couldn't get any better Mousse imagined as he quickly got rid of the evidence. "Stupid old woman! You just handed me everything I wanted on a plate!" The broach box was placed at the bottom of the box of babbles and it was hastily scooped up to be put into storage. Chances are that the old bat wouldn't check it again in a few centuries.

So caught up in his victor was Mousse that he didn't notice the unimpressed eyes of a small animal lurking around the corner of the room. After all, who would notice a tiny lost piglet? It would be easy to miss even if it was wearing a bright orange bandanna...

* * *

"I'm back!" Ranma called out from the door of the Tendo home. He slipped off his shoes and stepped into the kitchen where Kasumi was starting dinner.

Kasumi was just putting the finishing touches on dinner when the boy had walked in. She washed off her hands and welcomed him home with a smile. "Hello, Ranma. Did you have a good time at the Cat Café'?"

"No way. Bad food, bad service, bad company – as usual, " Ranma answered. His voice was laced with annoyance but he perked up upon smelling Kasumi's cooking. "Man, I'm starving!"

A snort from behind denoted Akane walking in on the spectacle. As usual after one of Ranma's outings, she was in a bad mood and let everyone know it.

"And just where have you been?" she demanded. Not that Akane really had to ask, though. It was obvious by his mood he'd been at either Ukyo's or Shampoo's place. The pervert.

"Come on, I just want to eat, Akane," Ranma griped. "Look, I'm sorry for this mornin'. Even if your cooking is pretty bad, you're way better company than Shampoo."

Although it wasn't the ringing apology Akane would have liked, at least Ranma was making an effort. Despite his barb about her cooking, she stiffly nodded and grabbed the plates she had originally came into the kitchen for. "Come on, help me set the table." She was still pretty mad, but when Ranma was bearable he wasn't so bad.

In the living room, Nabiki was lounging around on the couch, watching the stock reports. On the pillow beside her, P-Chan was doing much the same. He had finally found his way back to the Dojo earlier and Akane had quickly ushered him inside and placed him on the best pillow they had. That was probably why Nabiki was glaring at him every time she changed positions.

As Ranma and Akane set the table, Nabiki just stayed out of their way, enjoying the lack of arguing for once. Usually, after one of his jaunts around town, Akane would be screaming up a storm and probably beating him with anything not nailed down. Well, whatever. One less headache.

The smell of food also drew Genma and Soun into the house from the porch. Like always, they had been playing Shogi and waiting for the argument that never came to be over with.

"Is it safe?" Soun stage whispered to Nabiki. "Akane didn't cook to make up for lunch, did she?"

Said bad cook was still within hearing distance, though. Wasn't she always? Soun grunted when a paper fan impacted the back of his head.

"My cooking isn't that bad!" Akane growled. She was really getting sick of this. "If you're so scared of me cooking, why don't you all just go to Ukyo's or something! I'm sure Kasumi wouldn't mind having lots of leftovers for once!"

Before anyone else could talk, Ranma pipped in, "No way! I would eat your stuff over go to Ukyo's place any day of the week." What was most peculiar is that he actually said it with conviction, like he would actually subject himself to such horrors to stay away from his friend-turned-fiancée'.

Soun and Genma sent each other questioning, but happy, glances. Akane, though curious over the sudden change, had instantly perked up and was now chatting with Ranma about how he would like a dinner should she ever try to make him one again and he seemed to actually put a little thought into it. This was a good sign for the Dojo!

Not a block away, someone else was watching this rare little moment in the Tendo household. Unlike the two men, this watcher was not happy in the least.

Cologne sat quietly upon the light pole she had been using as a vantage point. So, not only was Ranma still upset about whatever had happened at the Nekohanten, Miss Kuonji was also seemingly in his bad graces. At this rate it really did seem like those two buffoon fathers were starting to get their wish.

"Taking an afternoon stroll, eh?"

Cologne cringed, knowing to whom that crackly old voice belonged to. "Happi…how pleasant to see you." She was getting careless in her old age if the old pervert could sneak up on her so easily.

Ignoring the lack of enthusiasm in the Amazon's voice, Happosai hopped up beside her and stole a peek at what was going on inside his residence. "So…what do you make of the boy's turnaround?" he asked. "Things aren't looking too good for your sweet great-granddaughter."

"We have our ways, Happi," Cologne promised. If Ranma seriously thought such a slight would go unchecked, he was truly his father's son. "You must be in good spirits. If things continue like this Genma's and Soun's ill-begotten plan will have come to fruition."

"Wait, wait, wait! This isn't my plan at all. My poor disciples thought this up all by themselves. I was locked in a cave, remember?" Happosai didn't want any credit for this situation.

As if Cologne trusted him. "Then you won't try and interfere when I inevitably try and...derail...this development? I do not wish to get into a fight over something so trivial."

The other ancient master agreed. "So long as you don't try and take the boy back to China without his permission," he stated. "Same agreement as always, really. Can't have you running away with such a looker until he's sure of it!" The old pervert let out a raunchily cackle at that.

Well, this was a favorable turn of events. Though Cologne didn't know why Happosai cared so much about her future son-in-law's personal freedom, it freed her up to take a more direct role in things. For sure being able to harass Ranma's female half wasn't the only reason the old master would go so far as to hint at a battle of epic proportions that would most likely kill them both.

"Perhaps you are not as idiotic as I first believed, Happi," Cologne murmured. "At the very least, you have layers."

"Comparing me to an onion! I'm sure I made the cuties cry in my day, but that's still a bit harsh."

Despite herself, Cologne was enjoying the chat. She didn't have time to sit around, though. "Perhaps I can do something to nip this irritating balance shift in the bud. If only I knew what caused Ranma's sudden change in mood," she mused aloud. One moment Ranma had been laughing and playing around, the next he was cold and irritated. She knew his attitude could change at the drop of a hat, but there was usually always a good reason.

"Maybe your cute little granddaughter got too grabby with the goods?" Happosai was rewarded for his suggestion with a swift twap on the head. He bounded out of the range of Cologne's irksome stick and rubbed his sore noggin. "Damn, woman! It was just a suggestion!"

"Get your mind out of the gutter," Cologne hissed. Not that she hadn't thought of Shampoo doing something like that. Oh no. It was just that Ranma would have acted much differently. "He's angry with Miss Kuonji as well and I doubt both of them would try something in the same day."

Oh, well, that was true. "Well, it's your problem! Don't ask me to fix it," Happosai grumbled as Cologne hopped past him. "Hey, where ya going?"

"Are you bored or something? Go harass some women. I have work to do." Before the other senior could respond, Cologne had already bounded off towards someplace that might hold a few answers. If there was a missing link in all of this, Cologne expected it to be squarely in Miss Kuonji hands.

Across town, said cross dresser was having problems of her own. At the moment, she was on the phone with none other than Kasumi, trying to get to Ranma. Her best friend/fiancée' hadn't stopped by for dinner like he usually did and she had missed him at school. Trying to get him on the line, however, was proving to be harder than pulling teeth.

Kasumi tried once again, at Ukyo's behest, to call Ranma over to the phone and once again she got the same answer. "I'm sorry Ukyo, but Ranma says he doesn't want to speak to you." It was obviously distressing to the oldest Tendo to be caught in the middle of...whatever this was. "I'm sure it's just that he's tired."

Ukyo sighed and thanked the other girl for trying before hanging up. She didn't know what had gotten into Ranma, but it put a wet blanket over her mood for the evening. She had only wanted to ask him over for lunch tomorrow. Hell, Akane could even tag along like usual and she wouldn't have minded.

The bell over her front door rang and Ukyo reluctantly put thoughts of Ranma's mood out of her head. It was close to closing time, but a customer was a customer. "What can I get for you?" she called out.

"You can tell me why son-in-law is avoiding you."

Great. Just great. The icing on the cake, it seemed, was sitting in the empty restaurant. The chef walked up behind the grill and sized up the shrimp of a woman. Given how strong the old woman proved when Ranma had lost his strenght, all assumptions based on Cologne's stature had to be tossed out.

"He's probably busy. You shouldn't get so excited in your old age; it's bad for your blood pressure." Ukyo knew that wasn't the case, but she wouldn't give an inch. "If you think that I'll give up this easily-"

Cologne held up her hand to forestall any pointless posturing. "I am not here to bicker over such mundane things. We have a mutual problem that needs to be corrected. After that, you and my great granddaughter can squabble all you like."

"And what problem is that? It's probably because Akane is standing beside him with a mallet hovering over his head that he can't talk." That would be more like it.

The matriarch shook her head. "Then why wasn't he here after school? He was at the Nekohanten and acted in such a way that even Mousse looked like a decent human being compared to him. At the very least, I believe we should speak with my great granddaughter and pool our knowledge."

"Unless, of course, you think you still think there isn't a problem. After all, it is completely within Ranma's personality to simply turn you down. To be purposefully cruel to one of his suiters."

Although Ukyo knew she would regret it, the old woman had a point. Ranma just wasn't mean. At the very least he'd shout a hello if she were on the phone. To just blow her off like that...

"What did you have in mind?"

* * *

"You can't be serious. You want **us** to work _together_?" Ukyo asked. The chef looked over at Shampoo with a scowl and dismissed the idea out of hand. "No way, no how. I don't need dead weight from someone Ranchan likes even less than me." Ukyo knew the old mummy was off her rocker! And to think that she had even thought this would be productive.

"Shampoo have exactly same thought! Weak Japanese girl who no even look like woman make Airen run for hills." That remark threatened to start a fight if Cologne didn't step in.

The old Amazon shut both teens up with a glare that would have killed lesser mortals. Shampoo especially had an appreciation for the look as she had seen it too many times during her life. Being in Japan must have dulled her sense of self-preservation if she could no longer tell when her great grandmother was getting angry.

Cologne hopped up onto a nearby table so she was eye level with the two women. "I hope you are not under any delusions here. If Ranma decides to cut you completely out of his life, for whatever reason, then any chance either of you ever had is gone. He lives with Akane Tendo and her family already and has been for the last year. If you are cut out of his life, exactly why wouldn't he simply fall in with the youngest Tendo?"

Ukyo sobered very quickly at that kind of logic. Cologne was right; Ranma and Akane practically acted like an old married couple anyway so without anyone else to rock the boat, they might just go along with it in **every** way...

"Oh god, she's right!" The chef wheeled around to grab Shampoo by the shoulders and shook her a few times in desperation. "What are we going to do?! That-That-hussy is going to steal Ranchan!"

It was odd seeing Ukyo loose her cool like that. Usually, from what little exposure Shampoo had from just being around her rival when they weren't at each other's throats, the chef was calm and collected and always had a plan at the ready. Now, though, it really did seem like she was spooked. All that did was make Shampoo more worried and soon both girls were alternately shaking each other in complete hysterics.

If she had been a few centuries younger, Cologne would have probably face-faulted at the ridiculousness of it all. "Listen up! We must first find out what exactly made son-in-law so hostile in such a short span of time. You said that you haven't spoken to Ranma for an entire day, correct?" The Amazon was addressing Ukyo as the girl tried to compose herself. "What was his mood when you last saw him?"

"He was just...Ranchan. Hungry, chatty, and happy," Ukyo responded.

"Nothing you can think of at all?"

"No. He spent about an hour at the restaurant day before yesterday and left just as happy as he had been when he came in."

So, it wasn't something that Ukyo had done; why, then, was Ranma mad at her? It made no sense. If he hadn't spoken to her for over a day there shouldn't be anything he could possibly be angry over.

"What about you two?" Ukyo cut in. She was glaring mostly at Shampoo, her arms crossed in a huff. "You were the last ones to see him. How do I know you didn't do something to him that backfired? You're always trying to drug him, Shampoo! Maybe you mixed up something that had an unexpected result."

Shampoo bristled at the suggestion. "Ukyo not know when to keep mouth shut! Shampoo no hurt Airen!" Mindful of the reproaching gaze Cologne was giving her, the teen tried to calm herself and slipped into her usual smug attitude, bottling the rage. "Why Ranma be mad at Shampoo anyway? Airen come to Shampoo for food that not kill him and maybe get some **variety**." Her smirk grew when Ukyo's eye twitched.

Clearly these two weren't going to be any help at all. If anything was going to get done, Cologne would just have to do it herself.

When the two teens looked up from their arguing, Cologne was nowhere in sight. The main door was just closing and it was obvious what had happened.

"Ukyo drive great grandmother off!" Shampoo accused.

"Me?! If it's anyone who's being too difficult it's you, sugar!" Ukyo shot back. "You had to have done something to Ranchan! Now he probably hates anyone who's not Akane."

Shampoo wanted to shout back, but the insults died in her throat. What if Ukyo was right? Ranma had only started to act weird when he came to the café. What if it **was** something she had done? Try as she might, Shampoo couldn't think of anything, though. Perhaps Ranma didn't like her cooking? Not wanting to look weak and be bandaged? Whatever it was, Shampoo was at her wits end.

A loud cough came from Ukyo that was probably to snap the Amazon out of whatever funk she was in. Truth was, the other teen didn't like how upset Shampoo looked at the moment. Even though the hussy probably deserved whatever it was that had happened to her in regards to Ranma now wasn't the time to brood over it.

"Look...I'm sorry. Your grandmother was right; we should be working together on this." At the very least Cologne would be helping so long as Shampoo was kept in the loop. "Since she took off, why don't we have some dinner? If I can use your kitchen, I'll fix some okonomiyaki."

The purple-haired teen looked skeptical at the sudden change of attitude, but there was no denying that she was pretty hungry. "Ukyo leave gunpowder flakes at home? Shampoo no want stomach to blow up."

That actually elicited a laugh from the chef. "Yeah, they're in my other pants. Promise."

* * *

Half a city away, Cologne was back on the trail of clues and not in the best of moods. Those two ungrateful children hadn't even properly listened to her! Now she was stuck doing all this legwork herself for the sake of her great granddaughter. If that girl thought she was going to get her full wage this week she had another thing coming.

Hopping back up on her usual perch atop the Tendo yard wall, and after looking very hard for Happosai, Cologne settled in for a night of quiet observation. For an elder of Joketsuzoku this was hardly a worthy task. If she were back in China the woman would have delegated such a thing to one of her seconds. Still, it had been decades since Cologne had personally been on a sentry mission. The last time had been, oh, back during World War II. She only did so then because she didn't trust anyone else to watch for the Japanese.

How things change. Now she was going out of her way to help her only great granddaughter get a Japanese _husband_. Shampoo's father had plenty to say about that when his daughter wasn't around. Mostly he stayed out of the way like any non-fighter should, but sometimes he was a downright mother hen. He honestly didn't like being in Japan; Cologne couldn't blame him, though. His father had suffered a lot during the years leading up to the War and afterwards.

None of that mattered now, though. Cologne took a deep breath and focused more on information gathering than the past. One day Ranma would probably meet Shampoo's father and have to deal with some bitter feelings. Sad, really, but it would be needed to clear the air. Perhaps Shampoo could talk to her father and scare him into behaving himself?

That future, of course, relied on overcoming the current crisis. Ranma was sitting in the living room with the rest of the Tendo herd, watching television. Nothing seemed overtly out of place. Well, other than the fact everyone inside seemed to be getting along. No arguing, no violence, no repair work. It was just...quiet. Uncharacteristic of the maelstrom that swirled around this humble dojo.

All was well...except for one thing. Ryoga, or P-chan as he was known to Akane, was watching Ranma with a close eye. Not the usual glare that the idiot usually reserved for his rival. It was almost as if Ryoga knew something was wrong as well. The question was how to get the boy alone and get him to talk. Better to try and get him now while he wasn't half way across Japan.

Inside the house, no one noticed a small pebble slam into the side of P-chan's head. Instead of knocking out the pig, it simply hopped down from the couch and marched out the door while Akane was busy talking with Ranma. It hopped out into the yard and, avoiding the koi pond, kept walking until it ran into the wall where it was scooped up by Cologne.

Ah, remote control acupressure. One of the better Amazon techniques if Cologne didn't say so herself. Scooping the idiot up, she quickly bounded off into the night, hoping that the two teenagers she had left behind hadn't killed themselves by now...

* * *

"Does Ukyo know where everything is?" Shampoo asked as the pair walked into the expansive kitchen of the Nekohanten. She pointed out the various cabinets where the pots, pans, and, of course, different-sized spatulas were kept. "Ingredients in freezer and on shelf."

The chef went right to work and tried to acclimate to this strange kitchen. It was very organized, though. Probably Cologne's doing. She couldn't imagine Shampoo doing anything but mucking up a kitchen. Probably tossed her utensils around, didn't clean them, used her cutlery for common utility knives, didn't-

Shampoo gracefully weaved around Ukyo, reaching between her arms to reach various ingredients like the other teen was nothing but a piece of ungainly furniture. Not skipping a beat, pots, spoons, and bowls flew from the shelves and soon there was the smell of cooking spices and ramen filling the kitchen.

"Is Ukyo just going to stand there?"

Had she really just zoned out like that? Ukyo frowned at herself and blamed it on being tired. So Shampoo could actually cook. Big deal. She worked in a restaurant, after all. Well, if the Amazon felt like putting on a show, so would Ukyo. The Chef twirled her giant spatula over her head as she

tossed ingredients onto the grill with her free hand. Out the corner of her eye, she could see Shampoo pausing to look at her.

Of course, though she could appreciate fellow skill, Shampoo wasn't going to let herself get upstaged. She flipped plates and pots into the air, twirling them around on her feet and arms as she kept her balance. By now the two weren't even keeping with all they were cooking. It had become something of a battle with neither wanted to back down first.

The sight that greeted Cologne when she hopped in was something out of a bad teen comedy. There was food everywhere; filling the tables, the counter tops, and every spare space in the kitchen. Not that the matriarch didn't want a nice dinner, but there was no way she could eat all this! Then she noticed the cause of this culinary catastrophe. If she didn't know better, Cologne would have swore that it was two idiot men in the kitchen and not her great granddaughter and the usually subdued Ukyo Kuonji.

Both teens were still trying to one-up the other, paying no heed to the newly arrived elder. Shampoo was holding several plates on the tip of her _**foot **_while Ukyo was balanced on top of her large spatula and using her mini spatula's to tend to several okonomiyaki at the same time. Truly, it was as if a three-ring circus had set up camp in the Nekohanten.

"What. Is. This."

The high stakes cooking match skidded to a halt as Cologne's rising battle aura washed over the two teens. It was only then that they took stock of just how much food they had cooked...food that had come from the Nekohanten's pantry. That's not good. Ukyo looked over at Shampoo who had her eyes closed, brace for some kind of attack. Would Cologne really do that, thou-

"Oww!" Ukyo yelped when the old woman's staff cracked her on the head. She heard Shampoo squawk a few seconds later and knew that this was probably a standard thing with Cologne. "We made you dinner and this is the thanks we get?"

Cologne snorted. Shampoo didn't even try to get in on the lie so at least her great granddaughter still had some sense. "And how am I supposed to consume a half week's worth of food? Not even son-in-law could clear this!"

At the mention of Ranma, Shampoo looked up, chastisement forgotten. "Great Grandmother find what wrong with Ranma?"

Snorting, Cologne produced the unconscious Ryoga and tapped the revive pressure point. The little pig stirred and lazily opened his eyes only to start squealing when he saw the surroundings.

"Ryoga here seems to know something about what's going on. However, I shall get the information from him myself. Perhaps he will be more willing to talk if he has a good meal?" Cologne noted how the pig perked up upon hearing that. "Wasn't it Akane Tendo who cooked tonight? I can't imagine that you could be..._full_...after that."

Although he was still wary, Ryoga quieted. The old ghoul had a point; Akane had hand-fed him most of the night. Seeing his change, Cologne produced a kettle of hot water.

"Now, you two go to Shampoo's room. I will call for you later."

Ukyo wanted to argue, but her rival was already dragging her back into the residence part of the restaurant. Granted, Shampoo didn't look very pleased herself. It must just be an Amazon thing, Ukyo decided. Cologne probably wouldn't keep them out of the loop too long.

The house wasn't really what Ukyo had imagined. It was a humble thing with many, many pictures hanging on the walls. There were a few of Shampoo sitting at a big feast with other women around her, happily chatting. It was an odd thing to see as Shampoo didn't have any friends in Japan as far as Ukyo knew. From the pictures, it looked like she was pretty popular back home.

"Who took all these pictures?" Ukyo asked. Cologne and Shampoo were in quite a few together so it couldn't have been the other woman.

Shampoo paused in her walking, seemingly wondering if she should say anything. She didn't see the harm in saying a little to her rival, but anything could possibly be used against her later on. "Shampoo father take pictures," the Amazon carefully replied.

The chef nodded and picked up a picture from a small table nearby. "Is this him?" In it, a lanky, middle-aged man in a black silk uniform and dark sunglasses was smiling broadly at the camera with Shampoo in his arms. "He looks like a nice guy."

"Why, thank you Miss."

Ukyo whirled around and came face-to-face with the Chinese man from the picture. Sans his sunglasses, he looked about the same as he did from the picture.

Ignoring Ukyo after the initial greeting, he walked around to Shampoo. "Daughter, how are you? I hope the elder is not keeping you too long."

Shampoo just shrugged. "Great grandmother have other business right now. Shampoo going to room." Amazingly, to Ukyo, the man was the one who got out of the hallway to give both Shampoo and Ukyo room to pass. The female Amazon didn't even give her father another look as she passed, either. Deciding not to bring it up, the chef just quietly followed. Who was she to talk about someone else's father issues?

What if it wasn't just family issues, though? What if that was how Amazon men were expected to behave? Well, Mousse was obviously an exception but it might explain why he's not treated very well. Ukyo couldn't imagine Ranma acting so subdued like that. Whatever. Not like Shampoo would ever be able to get her hooks that deep into Ranma anyway.

The Amazon ducked into a side room and Ukyo followed suit. From the look of it, this was Shampoo's bedroom. There was a modest western-style bed in the corner with a large vanity mirror on the wall beside it and a television in front of a throw pillow. In contrast to the rest of the house, there weren't any pictures or decorations in the room. The only thing Ukyo could really see that attested to Shampoo's personality was few cosmetics sitting on the vanity and the closet full of clothes.

While Ukyo just stood there, dumbly waiting to be invited in, Shampoo flopped down on the pillow and flipped on the TV. The show, a soap opera by the looks of it, was in Chinese so obviously Cologne had springed for cable. With nothing better to do, Ukyo just milled around. She couldn't watch TV with Shampoo. Something in the closet caught her attention so she walked over and opened it up a little more.

"Wow, this is a beautiful dress."

Shampoo looked up from the television to see which dress the chef was talking about. Cursing, the teen saw that her closet was open and the one thing she didn't want seen was in open display.

There, on a modeling mannequin, was an elaborate dress made from several layers of bright, colorful fabrics. Upon its head sat a large silver tiara and several other pieces of silver leaf. Around the neck was an even larger block of metal that looked more like a piece of armor than a necklace. Nevertheless, Ukyo had never seen something so beautiful or intricate.

Her view was abruptly cut off as the closet was slammed in her face. "No go through Shampoo things!" the Amazon growled.

"Well sorry for giving you a compliment on your fashion sense," Ukyo mumbled. Not that there was much else to do in the small room. Shampoo had gone back to watching some Chinese drama and was all too happy to leave the other girl alone until her great grandmother got finished with whatever it was she was talking to Ryoga about.

Unfortunately, Shampoo had not visitor-proofed her room. A single glimmer off something hanging on her vanity mirror caught Ukyo's eyes and she walked over to it, making sure not to draw the Amazon's attention. It was a worn golden cross on a silver chain; a lot like the ones European tourists would wear when they visited. Ukyo glanced over at Shampoo. Although the chef had never spent any time thinking about it, she didn't know if the Amazons practiced any kind of religion. If they did, Ukyo doubted it would be something like Christianity. Maybe the Chinese girl had just thought it looked pretty and picked it up somewhere?

Upon further inspection of the cross, Ukyo was sure she had found some Chinese markings engraved on it. Considering how old it looked, it was doubtful Shampoo had picked it up somewhere and not recognized what the letters said. While she couldn't read Chinese, Ukyo was sure that her rival would have spotted them at some point.

A stern poke on her shoulder alerted Ukyo she'd been caught again and she slowly turned around to endure another awkward moment with Shampoo. To her surprise, it wasn't the youngest Amazon but the eldest and she looked more sad than angry. Slowly, even lovingly, Cologne eased the cross out of Ukyo's hand and replaced it back on Shampoo's mirror. She gave it one last glance before her face shifted back into it's normal enigmatic state and she bounced over to the television to switch if off.

"Alright. The fool of a pig has finally eaten his fill and I've tied him to the refrigerator to make certain he doesn't wander off." Down the hall, both girls could hear someone shouting all manner of curses, most of them very, very colorful. Cologne didn't seem to mind, though. "Can I trust you two to work together long enough to find a solution to this mess? It would seem that there is a real problem if what he's told me so far is any indication."

Shampoo and Ukyo glanced at one another, sizing each other up. Shampoo was the first to look away and she shrugged. "Shampoo act like Amazon warrior."

"If she'll be civil, I'll be civil," Ukyo promised. She didn't know how long the truce would last, but if Ranma was honestly in some kind of trouble then they'd both have to grin and bear it.

Amazingly, Ryoga was still in one place when the trio went back to the kitchen. Other than somehow managing getting stuck inside the refrigerator, that is. After extracting the hapless idiot from the deep freeze, Cologne sat him down in a spare seat between Shampoo and Ukyo so he couldn't get away.

"Now, tell me what you saw. Don't leave anything out."

"Like I told you, I didn't _see_ anything!" Ryoga defended. "I just _heard_ Mousse saying something!"

Shampoo slammed her fist into a nearby table, nearly splitting it. "Mousse! Shampoo should have known!" The blind idiot had been hanging around earlier, right before Ranma started acting strange.

"Regardless of his involvement, we must first find out what Mousse did to son-in-law. What did you hear him say?"

"..."

Cologne sighed and brought out the big guns. "You realize what will happen should the trend back at the Tendo home continues, do you not? Son-in-law and Akane Tendo will only grow closer. It will only be a matter of time before-"

"Don't say it!" Ryoga yelled. He jumped up from the table and almost started weeping right then and there. "That wouldn't happen...they hate each other!"

"But for how much longer?" Ukyo caught onto Cologne's ploy and started to pile it on. "You know how much Akane hates it when Ranma-honey visits me. Unless she's hitting him for coming to my restaurant, what's there to get mad about? She gets rescued by Ranma almost once a month; eventually she'll cave in and...well, you wouldn't want to be a fly on the wall, or a pig by the bed, when that happens."

"Shampoo think she going to be sick." The younger Amazon knew what was going on, but the thought of Ranma and Akane...doing that... "Too, too sick. Ukyo have point, though. Ranma and Akane get together if Ryoga no help Shampoo fix groom. No even know what they doing right now."

Ryoga was silent for a second as he composed himself. He could only imagine what Ranma might be doing to poor, defenseless Akane without someone there to watch out. "Mousse said something about the old woman giving him everything he ever wanted. He was messing with some box over in that closet, too."

Given him everything he wanted? What was that fool talking about now. Cologne hopped over to the storage closet Ryoga was pointing at and looked around. Nothing jumped out at her as being odd, but if Ryoga said Mousse was doing something in here she wasn't going to dismiss it out of hand. Finally, she spotted a glimmer from the very back of the closet. It was one of her necklaces hanging out of a cardboard box. Oh no, she had told Mousse to put away her jewelry.

Ignoring Shampoo's questions, Cologne bounded over to the table with the box and started looking through it. Sure enough, the box that used to contain the cursed jewel was empty. "Mousse, I didn't know you were that clever," she quietly sighed. Perhaps the fool was worth a reevaluation. That could be done later, though.

Now, what to do with this information? She was the one who had invited the Kuonji girl over in the first place, after all. If what she had heard was correct, Ranma had been treating her nearly as rudely as Shampoo. This wouldn't bode well if either found out right away.

"Perhaps it would be best to call things a night," Cologne cut in as she secreted the empty box into her sleeve. "We shall track Mousse down tomorrow and find out what he has done with son-in-law. He is most likely staying out of dodge until his plot, whatever it is, comes to fruition."

Ukyo didn't look very convinced. "What are you hiding from us?" she asked. In defiance, she sat down on a chair beside Ryoga who also looked pretty resolved to stick around. "I'm not going anywhere until I get some answers."

For a moment, Cologne seriously considered simply tossing the two out. Who was this little slip of a girl to be ordering around a three hundred year old elder? It wasn't until Shampoo touched her shoulder that the old woman reversed course. With a sigh, Cologne pulled out the box and laid it on the table so everyone could get a look.

"Inside here was a broach that was used for pranks and other types of mischief. Depending on how it is worn, it can either enhance feelings of love or reverse them. It seems I underestimated Mousse's ability to come up with plans quickly and he somehow got it onto son-in-law."

"So...when Ranchan was mean to me, it means-"

"-that Ranma really-"

"Likes us?" Ukyo and Shampoo excitedly looked at each other and nearly started a little victory dance before they caught themselves. After all, Ranma was cruel to them both.

They composed themselves as best they could with varying degrees of sucess. Shampoo, who was having the most trouble not simply hopping up and down, realized something that sobered her up. "Ranma no get mad at Akane. Why that?" Even though she would like to think otherwise, there was no denying that Ranma had gone to bat for Akane more times than Shampoo could count.

Ukyo was just as confused. "Is there some other trick to this thing? Are you sure you're not off your rocker?"

"Of course I'm not. The jewel only works on romantic feelings. I wonder what son-in-law actually thinks of Akane Tendo to fool the jewel like this." She had a few thoughts, but now wasn't the time to share them. "The broach is very distinctive, you can't possibly miss it," Cologne said despite the fact that she had missed it earlier. She was the adult here, though, so she was excused. "I suggest you two go and get it back while son-in-law is sleeping. Chances are the jewel will be off of his person."

The silence in the room was almost painful as Ukyo and Shampoo battled internally over what to do. If they were to go it alone, they could possibly turn the situation to their advantage. On the other hand, if they were to to as a team they could probably fix this situation before it got any worse, even if it meant they were constantly going to be looking over each other's shoulder.

Finally, Ukyo broke the silence. "Shampoo, we should go together." She didn't sound terribly happy about it, though. "Look. Thanks to this we know that Ranchan l-likes us both, right? That's a pretty big step-up in a single day. We should just get Ranma back to normal. We can deal with everything..._else_...later."

The Amazon considered this. Truthfully, she had just been about to reject the notion that she should team-up with anyone. "Ukyo too, too loud to sneak into Airen's room. She just get caught," Shampoo decided. Even though her great grandmother might not like it, Shampoo was certain she could get anything out of that house even if Ranma was on alert. "Elder, Shampoo go now!" She gave a little salute and dashed off into the night without waiting for any chastisement that could come her way.

"Not without me you aren't!" Ukyo grabbed up her spatula and ran off after her rival, leaving Cologne and Ryoga alone in the restaurant. A second later the lost boy ran off after both of them, screaming about not leaving Akane alone with a bounder like Ranma.

And so, Cologne pulled out her seldom-used pipe and lit up a small bit of medical weed she saved for really, really bad headaches. At least things were in motion now and not just trudging along like they had been. Whatever the case, a critical part of her job here was done; just give Shampoo a real chance. If she were to muck it up herself then she would face more training and discipline; if she managed to actually get somewhere then the glory would be all hers.

Well, at least Cologne would have some entertainment to make up for all that investigation earlier. Maybe if the show was good enough Shampoo wouldn't get her pay docked after all...


	2. Chapter 2

First piece of work I've updated in months and it came out fairly well. We'll see how fast I can update, though I'm proud of this. Read and Review, please; feedback keeps me interested.

Disclaimer: Don't own Ranma or any of the characters used in this fiction.

* * *

It was the night before Thursday and all through the house, not a creature was stirring...except for a cat. This particular cat was an animal on a mission, though. Slinking through the empty halls of the Tendo home, it was looking for one room in particular. Behind the cat, someone just as sneaky was following along.

Ukyo tip-toed after her Amazon "teammate", trying her best to not make any noise. She had managed to catch up with Shampoo right as the latter hopped into the Tendo's koi pond. Shampoo's plan was probably to just sneak in, grab the jewel, and then sneak out. Well, no way was Ukyo going to let her go in without supervision. The conniving cat could put the jewel right side up and then do all kinds of perverted things to Ranchan! Although Shampoo had loudly meowed in protest the chef wasn't hearing it. Thus, the two had slipped into the house, trying not to run into anyone.

To get to Ranma's room, the pair had to somehow get past Happosai, though. The old pervert had set up camp in the old television room right beside the stairs. Shampoo passed it easily enough and waited by the first step for Ukyo to work her way by the door.

How odd it was that Shampoo was waiting on her, Ukyo thought. With how gung-ho she had been about going it alone, the Amazon was suddenly becoming quite amicable. Could it be that Shampoo was finally starting to come around? Maybe, with some of the pressure off, she would relax?

"Meooooooooooooow!"

Then again, it _**was**_ Shampoo. The yowl reverberated through the house just as Ukyo stepped in front of Happosai's door. Lights were already starting to click on upstairs and from the direction of Soun's room and loud thumping could be heard all around the home. Predictably, Shampoo had already scampered off, leaving Ukyo to hold the bag.

Happosai's door slowly opened and the tiny master bounded outside, instantly hopping into Ukyo's bosom. "Sweety! What a great dream I'm having!" he cooed, snuggling into the soft flesh more. Not even the chest bindings Ukyo wore were enough to deter the senior.

Ukyo, of course, screamed at the sudden molestation and swatted the lecher away from her chest. Oh, Shampoo was going to pay for this and she was going to pay dearly. Not right now, though, as she could hear shouting from upstairs. It sounded like Akane yelling about a burglar in the house or something.

The chef darted out onto the porch and hid in the bushes by the koi pond. By now the entire house was up and around, looking for whatever it was that had disturbed their sleep. As they were running around, Ukyo spotted a tiny pink blur making it's way up the stairs through the open screen. Oh, that was rich. Shampoo was going to pay dearly for this.

"So, whacha doing out here, cutie?"

Ukyo's body went stiff as a board when she heard the voice behind her. Glancing over her shoulder, the girl's worst fears were confirmed as she spotted Happosai sitting a little ways off, puffing on his pipe. He didn't look mad or lust-craved, though, only curious. That in itself was terrifying.

How best to deal with this? Ukyo didn't see Happosai running off to call attention to her at the moment, but if the old man got mad enough he might. Perhaps playing to his perverted side would work?

"I was just...going to Ranchan's room?" It was so embarrassing! "I didn't get to see him the other day and-"

Happosai chuckled and held up his hand for her to stop. "Oh, I remember what it was like to be a youngin'! Sneaking into houses at night so mothers wouldn't find me!" Ukyo was more inclined to believe that it had been so his targets would be asleep and easier to molest, but she held her tongue. "Tell ya what I'll do. I'll help you get up there without anyone spotting you!"

It was almost too good to be true! "You'll help me? Really?" Ukyo scooted over to the old man, eyes glistening with grateful tears. She could catch up to Shampoo yet!

"Yup! Hold on tight." With his tiny hand, he lifted Ukyo off the ground without much effort. "And here you go!"

Being tossed around like a sack of rice was not Ukyo's idea of being helped. She managed to do a midair somersault and land on her feet, though, finding herself on the roof of the dojo. When she looked back down at Happosai, he was waving a long piece of white ribbon in his hands and motioning for her to get to whatever it was she was going to do.

Wait. A white ribbon? Looking down at her chest, Ukyo sighed. The old lecher had managed to get her chest binding off without her knowing. Nothing she could do about it now, though. Fortunately, she was right above Ranma's room. Ukyo leaned down from the roof and confirmed that Ranma was sound asleep still along with Genma. What was more, Shampoo apparently hadn't made it there first.

The window didn't have any locks, so it was easy for Ukyo to get inside. Being heavy sleepers, neither Genma or Ranma woke up when Ukyo's feet hit the carpet. The chef looked around, if only to ensure that Shampoo wasn't sitting somewhere, waiting to ambush her, before walking over to the sleeping boy.

Like usual, Ranma was still dressed in his day-to-day clothes. He probably hadn't thought anything of putting them right back on after a bath. Question was, where could the cursed jewel be? Obviously it was somewhere on Ranma's clothes, but where?

Well, logically thinking, it wouldn't be where anyone would see it easily. Mousse wasn't an idiot, after all. Someone might have seen it back at the dojo, too. Right now, Ranma was sleeping on his side so Ukyo carefully pulled up the covers. Nothing on his back or side, though. Maybe she could just push him over a bit and-

The door slid open and Ukyo jumped away from Ranma. Instead of some angry Tendo, though, it was the wayward Shampoo, now in her real form, slinking in. She saw Ukyo after she closed the door and the two just stared at each other.

"Tell me why I shouldn't scream right now and wake up Ranchan," Ukyo whispered. She had landed on the windowsill and could easily just jump out to the yard below. In fact, it was becoming a very tempting idea.

Shampoo looked like a deer in caught in headlights for a second; she soon snapped out of it, though. "If Ukyo do that, Shampoo no get to tell her where jewel is on Ranma."

Was Shampoo lying? Ukyo stared long and hard a the Amazon, but the girl had an incredible poker face. Maybe she did know where it was? If she didn't, it would be pretty easy to see. "Alright, go ahead and get it."

Having been called on her bluff, Shampoo nevertheless resolutely walked up to Ranma. Unlike Ukyo, the Amazon wasn't being too quiet; she had experience when it came to how deep a sleeper her Airen was, after all. Looking at all the obvious places, she couldn't spot the broach and Shampoo imagined Ukyo would have given everything a good look before she had came in. So, where was that damn jewel?

Suddenly, Ranma shifted in his sleep. His arm reached up and pulled on his pillow a bit more, revealing something shiny under his arm. So, that's why no one had seen it. Unless they were really looking, the jewel would have stayed hidden. Shampoo gingerly plucked the broach from her Airen and held it up triumphantly in the moonlight.

Well, Ukyo hated to admit it but the Amazon had came through. "Alright, lets get out of here," she said. When Shampoo didn't move, her eyes narrowed.

"Shampoo no give up chance to be with husband," Shampoo stated as she began taking off her pants. It had been months since she had snuck into bed with Ranma and she wasn't about to pass up the opportunity. Before Ukyo could stop her, she was already under the covers of the futon, smugly sticking out her tongue at her rival.

That...that...**hussy**! Ukyo couldn't believe that Shampoo would be so forward! If she tried to separate the two, Ranma would wake up and then things would be really, really bad. There would be a lot of questions that Ukyo didn't want to answer. After all, she was the good fiancée'; the one that didn't try and trap, trick, or seduce Ranchan. For Shampoo, this kind of behavior was expected so she would get off easy.

Seemingly knowing this, Shampoo scooted up more to Ranma and took half the pillow. She wasn't even trying to taunt Ukyo anymore and that only upset the chef more. Shampoo was just going to go to sleep and let that be the end of it.

How could she be so brazen?! Oh no. Ranma shifted again and put his arm around the Amazon, drawing her in further. That proved to be the last straw for Ukyo as she dashed over to the futon and yanked Shampoo up. "What the **hell** do you think you're doing you-" Ukyo really started to unload on the girl but Shampoo simply pointed behind Ukyo.

Apparently, the wrangling had awoken someone else. Genma, who, for once, was not sleeping as a panda, yawned loudly and rolled over. His eyes only opened for a second, but when they did it kick started his brain in a way only two young woman, one of whom was already half-naked, looming over his engaged son could.

"What's going on here?!" Genma shouted. Fortunately, Ukyo had the presence of mind to slap a pillow over Ranma's head so he wouldn't be woken up by the bellowing. _Un_fortunately, Soun was currently prowling around upstairs and he rushed into the room along with the rest of the Tendo hoard.

The first, and most vocal reaction, came from Akane upon seeing Shampoo's state of undress. These were followed by several embarrassed mummers from Kasumi and a low whistle from Nabiki. The Amazon, not the least bit modest, crossed her arms and gave the fuming Akane a taunting smirk, further angering the girl.

Ukyo, who was far more embarrassed at having been caught, was stuck staring down Genma. Ranma's father, whom she still hated with a vengeance, wasn't backing down either. She knew the old man wasn't as helpless as their first fight had led Ukyo to believe, but just how strong Genma really was, or how much he'd push back at this moment, wasn't known.

Finally, the chef just decided to tell the truth and maybe appeal to the more reasonable Tendo's. "Ranma-honey was cursed. We just came here to fix him," she blurted out.

Immediately, Akane interrupted with, "Then why is Shampoo naked and why is your top half-open?!" she seethed.

"Like I know! You know how she is! And it isn't my fault you have a pervert living in your house!" Finally, Ukyo was fed up with this mess. "Look, we did what we came here to do so I'm going to leave. You have a problem with the hussy, take it out on her." She ignored the feeling of Shampoo glaring daggers at the back of her skull.

Genma didn't move, however. "And how do I know _you_ didn't do something to the boy?" Shampoo he could understand, but Ukyo? This would have to be some kind of serious plot to drag her into it.

"Oh dear, wasn't that the broach Ranma was wearing earlier?"

Sometimes Kasumi was more trouble than she was worth. In a room full of martial artists, she was the one who managed to spot the broach before Ukyo could get it into a pocket.

Instantly, there were several calls of, "What broach?" and "I bet it's magic!" from everyone in the room. Soun nodded at Genma and the two closed in, catching Ukyo and Shampoo between them. The eldest Tendo resolutely held out his hand in what he probably considered a resolute manner.

"I think you should give that to me, Miss Kuonji."

Seeing that there really wasn't any other way out of this, Shampoo moved closer to Ukyo and put her back to the chef. "Shampoo think we have to fight way out. Ukyo want to team up?"

"How do I know you won't just run and leave me here?" she growled. There wasn't any forgetting what had happened downstairs. She felt Shampoo shrug and understood it to mean that there was no way to know for sure. Wonderful.

Seeing that the two girls weren't backing down, Genma gathered all the hubris he could and stomped forward, intent on just grabbing the bauble and seeing what it was. Instead of getting what he wanted, though, he got a kick to the forehead from Shampoo who had catapulted over Ukyo. When the chef gave her a questioning look, Shampoo only responded, "Ukyo get chance to beat up stupid panda once. Shampoo turn."

That left Soun for Ukyo to deal with. The mustached man had shouted after his friend, but he didn't move to help. Instead he looked quite lost at the situation deteriorating into violence. His daughter, though, seemed to have no such reservations and launched herself at the chef, aiming for the jewel.

Ukyo dodged the first grab and retaliated with a light rapping that tested Akane's defenses. The short haired girl blocked the blows and launched another series of attacks, this time aiming at incapacitating rather than capture. Although she was better than Ukyo would have given credit, the blows were still deflected and not a single one got through.

Contrary to the comparatively-sedate sparring match between Ukyo and Akane, Genma and Shampoo had already moved into the yard. To Shampoo's overwhelming aggravation, Genma was simply matching her skill level and wearing her out, not launching any attacks of his own. It reminded Shampoo a lot of Ranma's own style, especially when he was fighting weaker opponents he didn't take seriously.

It pissed her off.

Shampoo pulled out her bonbori and began to fight in earnest. She was getting closer with her strikes, but Genma was still either deflected the attacks or dodging them with spry movements that would have impressed the Amazon in any other situation.

"Fat panda no run from Shampoo!" the girl cried in frustration. It was, to her growing horror, seemingly impossible to even hit the aged martial artist. If she was going to hold him up any longer than her stamina would hold, Shampoo was going to have to slow the old man down with the only way she thought had a chance.

The eldest Saotome didn't respond to Shampoo's angry outburst. The girl was good, just as his son had appraised earlier back in her village, but certainly not anywhere near Ranma's own caliber. In fact, it reminded Genma of a time when he was able to beat Ranma easily, probably back when he was around twelve or thirteen, and the look on Shampoo's face matched it. That need, that want, to pound him flat but the inability to do it. Made him down-right nostalgic.

Therefore, it wasn't a big surprise to Genma that Shampoo seemingly got angry enough to actually throw one of her maces at his head. He dodged it, of course, and spared her a consolatory smile. She was probably losing steam by now and would soon be too tired to continue.

Wait, why was his back getting wet?

The now-panda Genma looked over his shoulder and noticed why Shampoo had thrown her weapon. It hadn't been to hit him at all, but to instead hit the koi pond she had maneuvered him over to. He knew, as did Shampoo, that in his cursed form he would be a good bit less limber.

"Now Shampoo think she ready for Cantonese Panda Cuts. Too, too delicious." To Genma's unfettered fear, the Amazon had drawn out her far more lethal _dadao_ and was now holding it in place of the tossed bonbori. He knew from experience that the girl was far more comfortable, and therefore more dangerous, with her sword than unarmed or only maces. Now armed with sword _and_ mace, she was looking fairly confident.

The first blow, thankfully, came from the mace and Genma was forced to block it rather than dodge. It was so powerful that it made his furry arm shake, even after she withdrew it for another swing. Even Ranma, in his female form, didn't have so much raw power. Unless he got serious, which Genma was very loath to do, this was going to be aggravating.

Shampoo's sword came a hair's breath from slicing off something and Genma realized he would have to devote his attention fully to the fight. Although he was worried, Shampoo didn't seem to be trying to kill him so that was in his favor. Still, after a clump of hair was cut down razor close with the second swing, the girl didn't seem too adverse to a maiming.

Alright, time to think logically. Genma's self-preservation sense told him to do one of three things: Either get to hot water in a hurry, try and dunk Shampoo into the pond herself, or make a break for it. The smart thing to do would be to dunk the Amazon and link up with Tendo so they could get the truth out of Ukyo. That sword, though, was going to make fighting difficult. Unless, of course, he could get the teen to do something stupid...

When Shampoo moved in close again, Genma sprang onto the roof. Taking the bait, he was followed by Shampoo who leapt into air after him. Suddenly, the girl found herself face-to-face, midair, with a giant panda. She swung wildly, trying to fend him off, but Genma was already inside her defenses. He easily trapped Shampoo's sword arm in his massive paw and sent a forceful kick into the girl's midsection, sending her careening towards the pond below.

There was a pitiful meow from Shampoo as she surfaced. Genma landed beside the pond and, par for course, pulled out a sign to gloat. **'Never challenge a Saotome in the air!'** it read and Shampoo had no choice but to agree. She could do little more than wriggle in indignation as Genma lifted her up by the scruff of her neck. How embarrassing.

Back up in Ranma's room, the "friendly" sparring match between Ukyo and Akane had turned ugly. The chef hadn't expected to be attacked so quickly and she had neglected to draw her weapon. That left her totally dependent on what rudimentary hand-to-hand martial arts she had taught herself growing up. Unfortunately, this was proving problematic in dealing with Akane who's years of experience and superior physical strength was starting to beat the difference in speed and natural combat talent.

One particularly witty maneuver by Akane forced Ukyo up against the wall like a boxer on the ropes. The chef rolled to avoid follow up punches, but she couldn't escape from her position. The girl had trapped Ukyo in such a way that it was still impossible for her to pull out her spatula, too.

"Give up yet?" As if she could sense her opponent's feelings, Akane was really starting to pile on the pressure. Fortunately for Ukyo, the linear martial artist wasn't using her feet. That didn't mean she could keep up her defense forever, though. Akane was starting to get in hits and Ukyo was getting sluggish in blocking.

Taking a chance, Ukyo tried ducking under the punches. Akane chopped downwards, but the chef was far faster and she managed to roll under her opponent's downward arc. Now, flanking Akane, Ukyo unleashed a flurry of punches herself. Akane couldn't dodge the first barrage and she winced with every hit, eventually proving that she wasn't so immobile as to not leap backwards, out of Ukyo's reach. The chef immediately pulled out her large battle spatula and was pleased that Akane was much more wary to attack.

Finally, Soun stepped in between the two. He hadn't raised a finger to help his daughter, but Ukyo had no doubts about whether or not he would intervene should she really start to win.

"I think it's time for you to come clean over whatever it is you're doing here, Ukyo," the man stated despite Akane glaring at the back of his head. Soun _was_ shivering, though. Ukyo wondered if he wanted to end this just to keep his daughter from getting too worked up and destroying the house. The walls already had several holes in them from where Akane hadn't stopped herself in time. At least she was at least to see if Ukyo would respond to her father's ultimatum.

It wasn't as if Ukyo had a choice. She started to back up towards the window, intent on leaving Shampoo to her fate. Unfortunately, said Amazon was in no condition for stalling as the chef soon discovered. Just as she had gotten ready to bolt, Genma had just hopped back up to the room. His furry body covered the window quite well and blocked Ukyo's avenue of escape. Not only that, he dropped a transformed Shampoo on the floor.

"Good job keeping him busy, Shampoo," Ukyo whispered. The cat hissed, but was otherwise too aggravated to respond to the jibe properly. With the Amazon out of the picture, there wasn't a way out of this for Ukyo.

Seeing that Genma wasn't going to let her pass, the raven-haired teen did the only thing she could; try and talk her way out of this. "Is this the thanks I get for helping Ranma get out of those Chinese curses he keeps falling into?" she demanded. Shampoo loudly voiced her disapproval at being thus betrayed, but Ukyo didn't care. This entire thing was about Ranma, after all.

Soun didn't outright call the teen a lier, but he wasn't convinced. Ukyo held up the reversal jewel so everyone could see it. "See this? It controls Ranma's mind. Haven't you noticed him acting differently lately? The Amazons put it on him to get him to like Shampoo, but it backfired and now he dislikes all his fiancées."

"That's a lie! Ranma wasn't mean to me at all!" Akane shouted. "I bet it only makes him hate you. Why else would you team up with Shampoo to get if off of him?"

While Ukyo tried to come up with some kind of excuse for this, she neglected to remember that Shampoo could still make an annoyance out of herself even when she was a cat. Said feline seized on Akane's distraction and snatched the reversal jewel out of Ukyo's hands with a leap. Unfortunately, she was quickly caught by the scruff of her neck by Akane when she made for the door and the broach was pried out of her mouth.

Akane studied the simple piece of jewelery, noting Ukyo's discomfort at not having it in her hands anymore. It didn't really look Chinese, but rarely did anything Cologne used. "This thing can make Ranma hate you all?" she asked, not really expecting an answer. Slowly, a smile spread across her lips. "Do you know how embarrassing it is when Shampoo hangs off of Ranma or when he spends so much time at your restaurant? He's actually been nice today! I think this thing was supposed to make Ranma perverted, but it backfired and made him normal." She smugly turned to the chef. "I'm right, aren't I?"

Ukyo didn't answer.

Taking that as an affirmative, Akane walked over to the still-sleeping Ranma and resolutely popped the broach back on his shirt. Shampoo was going absolutely feral, but the cat wasn't able to claw anything but air because of how Akane was holding her.

"There. Now Ranma won't be hanging off you two anymore." The girl tossed Shampoo over her shoulder and waited to see what Ukyo would do.

The chef wasn't able to make a move as her attention, along with everyone else's, was soon elsewhere. Ranma, who had until now managed to stay asleep despite the chaos, stirred. It was amazing; even after Shampoo kicking Genma out of a window, Ukyo and Akane having a full-scale fight, and various conversations between Soun and just about anyone who would listen, a tiny poke was what woke Ranma up. Ukyo figured it was just bad karma.

Ranma yawned as he pushed the pillow off of his head and looked around the room as his eyes came into focus. He didn't seem different, but he hadn't looked in Ukyo's direction yet. Akane was looking a bit pleased with herself as were Genma and Soun; they probably figured that Ranma would eventually fall for Akane so long as they could keep the broach on and that the future of the dojo was safe. Nabiki and Kasumi, more the former than the latter, were looking on the drama with curiosity. In fact, the middle Tendo looked almost speculative as she watched events unfold which struck Ukyo as being odd.

"What are you guys doing?" Ranma finally asked, looking at Akane's side of the room more than Ukyo's. Said girl took the opportunity to start subtly inching towards the window now that Genma had moved closer to his son. She would have to go back home and rethink a plan of attack now that everyone knew what the jewel could do.

Just as Akane was about to answer, a freshly-changed Shampoo burst through the door. Eyes full of promises of painful death, she had out her dadao and was wearing her armored breastplate. Where she kept all this stuff was beyond anyone's understanding. If she saw Ranma, Shampoo didn't react. Instead, she slowly stalked forward, towards Ukyo, ignoring the audience that was locked in morbid attention.

Ukyo now started to wonder how far she could get before the faster teen managed to catch up. "Shampoo, come on...you'd have done the same thing! You **did** do the same thing!" Lousy argument, but there wasn't much left to be said. Finally, cornered for the second time in a night, Ukyo brought up her spatula. "Think, Shampoo! Two of us and three of them! We could try and get the jewel back!"

"Shampoo no care! Spatula-Girl die!" With a battle cry that would have done even Ryoga proud, the Amazon lunged at Ukyo. Her broadsword hit the spatula and shook Ukyo down to her feet. How was Shampoo so strong when she was using only one hand?! The Japanese girl set her feet and pushed back hard with both hands, only succeeding in moving Shampoo back a few inches.

The two pushed back and forth with Shampoo not willing to commit her other arm. It soon became apparent why; she was shooting Ranma looks every few moments as if she were expecting him to suddenly attack. Ukyo couldn't deny the sensibility of this; who knows how Ranma would react with the jewel on, finding them both in his room in the dead of night.

Regardless of how Ukyo or Shampoo thought Ranma would act, what the boy actually did surprised them, and everyone else, to the point that no one could stop him. While he had watched the fight at first with a blank stare, it soon became a distressed one as the two girls fought on. Finally, it became too much and he jumped up.

Ukyo and Shampoo didn't know what exactly happened in the next few moments. One second they were locked up, the next they were disarmed. Standing between them was none other than their mutual fiancée, who did not look very happy. He was practically looming over them both.

"You two..." The teens braced themselves for the worse, "...shouldn't fight! What the heck would I have done if you'd hurt each other?!" With that stunning declaration, he unceremoniously enveloped them in a hug the likes of which would make even an Amazon glomp look tame.

Several things immediately happened; one, Shampoo and Ukyo were completely incapacitated by the show of affection. Two, Akane had suddenly developed a furious battle aura. Three, Soun's demon head was was threatening to take the roof off the house, and four, Kasumi let out a low, "Oh my."

"What do you think you're doing, Ranma?!" was shouted by no less than three different people. Akane had picked up the nearest thing, which happened to be her writing desk, and deposited it not-so-gently atop her fiancée's head. Ranma keeled over, releasing both of the stunned and speechless teenagers in the process.

Shampoo, giddy from the very feeling of _being_ hugged for a change, promptly slapped herself to get her wits back. She yanked Ranma up, popped Akane on the head, and promptly leapt out the window while everyone else could only watch in disbelief. By the time Genma and Soun could work themselves back up to speaking-capacity, the Amazon was already nothing more than a spot on a distant roof.

Although Akane couldn't follow, much to her frustration, Ukyo could. She snapped out of it long enough to grab her discarded spatula and gave chase. Hopping from rooftop to rooftop wasn't something she did often, but she was able to at least keep Shampoo in sight. Of course, Shampoo noticed her chaser and veered off into a construction site where it would be difficult to be found by the Tendo hoard. She waited at the entrance, Ranma still unconscious and over her shoulder, until Ukyo was well within sight before heading inside the weave of metal and scaffolding.

Of course, it was an ambush. It was as plain to see as it was unavoidable. _Something_ was wrong with Ranma, probably magic-related, and Ukyo couldn't leave him alone and unsupervised with Shampoo. The chef headed in, bracing herself for the inevitable.

Shampoo didn't disappoint. The Amazon silently floated down from above Ukyo and barely missed slicing into her target. Ukyo had rolled out of the way at the very last moment and brought her spatula upwards, cleaving the air and almost taking off one of Shampoo's trademark locks of hair in the process. The teen rolled back and kicked up, catching Ukyo on the chin. The chef's head snapped back and Ukyo's entire body lifted off the ground. Fortunately, she caught a steel girder on the way up and swung to a stop. The two martial artists both sized the other up, noting just how tired each was, and picked out wounds that could be exploited. Although it was _nerve_-_wracking_, fighting in the dark against an armed and motivated opponent, neither girl could suppress the thrill that ran up their spines. For them both, this was the first major fight they had been in for a number of months.

Again, it was Shampoo who began the next round. The purple-haired warrior demonstrated her excellent physique as she set her shoulder and drew back her sword. Ukyo's eyes narrowed as she saw the muscles under her opponent's silk shirt start to tense and she was already on the move when the dadao was sent flying in her direction. With deadly accuracy it cut into the platform where Ukyo had been only seconds before, creating a shower of sparks that skittered through the darkness like fireflies disturbed from their nightly routine. Ukyo ran through the hot twinkles and charged at Shampoo with a feral battle cry, swinging her spatula back like a prodigious battle ax.

Evidently, the Amazon wasn't expecting such a move as she was sluggish dodging. The pointed tip of Ukyo's spatula cut into her dress along the sleeve and left just the tiniest line of red marring Shampoo's otherwise jade complexion. Shampoo ignored it and, amazingly, bent her arm up and caught the large flat head of the spatula between her forearm and bicep. It was a shocking display of just how much upper body strength Shampoo had and, if anything, the blood only served to make the gleam in Shampoo's eye grow more wild. With her free arm, the Amazon slammed into the metal neck of the spatula, bending it to a nearly ninety degree angle. With her weapon useless, Ukyo retreated backwards and gave herself some room. Both girls were breathing heavily, drenched in sweat, but unwilling to back down.

If Ukyo had been watching the display as a third party, she would have declared it nothing more than a macho pissing match. However, she was already caught up in it. The mood was reflected in the raven-haired teen's eyes, flashing dangerously in the scant moonlight that filtered through the towering hulk of metal above. She was starting to remember her earlier days in the art, developing her own movements and drills. This fight was pushing her harder than anything she could remember and it was the first time Ukyo had ever fought outside of her element. If things continued like they were going, Ukyo imagined that she would be on the losing side without her main weapon.

"Shampoo! Where did ya go?"

The fighting abruptly stopped as Ranma's voice reverberated throughout the construction site. Shampoo cursed in Chinese and quickly put away her sword before Ranma managed to find them. She wasn't going to get caught in a bad situation like the Tendo home again tonight.

Ukyo used the lull in hostilities to pick back up her battle spatula and unbend it. It was a good thing she knew a blacksmith in town that didn't ask too many questions or else she would have to send it all the way back home to get it repaired. "So, what do you want to do, Shampoo?" Ukyo asked. Ranma's voice was getting closer and closer so any prospect of fighting was off, yet nothing had been settled. "You want to try and lose him again to finish this and then the winner gets the spoils?" Barbaric to be sure, but Ukyo couldn't think of anything else to do.

It was getting later and later and Shampoo was sure at least Soun or Genma would be showing up soon. With that time limit imposed, there wouldn't be time to enjoy time with Ranma even if she managed to finish off Ukyo quickly; the chef had proved to be more a challenge than Shampoo would have given her credit. There were just too few options at the moment under these circumstances.

"Shampoo have proposition," the Amazon finally whispered. Ranma was now visibly walking towards them, waving as he came, but he was was still a few seconds off. "Spatula Girl and Shampoo make deal, yes?"

Ukyo didn't like the sound of this. "What do you want?" she whispered back. All of the weapons had been quickly put away and the girls were waving back as if nothing had happened. "Spit it out, Shampoo," Ukyo added through teeth clenched in a happy smile.

Instead of answering, the Amazon skipped over to Ranma and gave him a hug. Ukyo, livid, stomped over and pulled away one of Shampoo's arms, shouting, "Is this what you call a deal?! You-"

At that moment, Shampoo's free hand snaked out and poked the back of Ranma's neck while he was distracted with trying to calm down Ukyo. The effect was immediate and Ranma slumped to the ground, sound asleep. Shampoo thanked whatever gods were looking out for her that her husband had been preoccupied or else this would have never worked. She ignored Ukyo, who had jumped back and retaken her combat stance, and instead plucked the reversal jewel off of Ranma's shirt. It shimmered in the faint moonlight, mischievous, as if it were calling upon Shampoo to place it back on the boy. It was an old piece of magic; far older than even Cologne. It seemed to scream out to be used, for its untold powers to be put into effect. Enrapturing.

"If you think I'm going to let you put that on me, you've got another thing coming," Ukyo snarled, breaking the trance Shampoo had fallen under. It was an obvious conclusion for Ukyo to come to, after all, but it wasn't what Shampoo had in mind.

"Shampoo want to, but it no work. Tendos already know what jewel does; they take it off Ukyo just to spite Shampoo." Instead, Shampoo placed it on a nearby concrete slab and picked up a rock. "Shampoo say she had deal: Shampoo know Airen like her and Spatula Girl know same thing. What biggest problem that no one can deal with by self?"

Ukyo instantly picked up on Shampoo's thinking. "Akane and the old men." She put away her spatula and hesitantly walked over to her rival. "What do you suggest, sugar?" She didn't let her guard down, though. This was still Shampoo.

The purple-haired teen had the same thoughts as she angled her body in case Ukyo launched some kind of attack. "Shampoo destroy jewel. Akane or Mousse no put it back on Airen." That was the obvious part of the deal, but Shampoo continued. "Then Shampoo and..._Ukyo_ work together to get Ranma out of Tendo house. After that, we finish fight; winner take all."

It was a good deal. Ukyo wasn't happy leaving their match unfinished and some extra help, even from Shampoo, would be needed to free Ranma from any Tendo obligations. Not to mention the resources at Cologne's disposal. Still...

"How can I possibly trust you, Shampoo?" Ukyo countered, glaring, "You left me hanging at the Tendos when we were supposed to be working together!"

Shampoo glared back. "We no work together then! Ukyo just follow Shampoo." She could see the chef's point, though. "Amazons no go back on word. Shampoo pledge alliance and Shampoo no break it. More worried about Ukyo betraying Shampoo!"

This back and forth was getting the pair nowhere fast. Finally, Ukyo sighed and held up her hand. "Alright, alright. I swear I won't be the one that breaks the pact. Is that good enough? If I do, you'll get to take revenge guilt-free so it's win-win for you." Not that Shampoo ever cared about guilt, Ukyo mentally added.

The Amazon nodded. "We agreed, then. Akane and idiot old men big threat. Give Shampoo hand." Shampoo held out her own, waiting for Ukyo to do the same. She was surprised when Ukyo complied with only a small hesitation. The Chinese girl grasped said hand and quickly pulled out a small double-edged knife with her other. Before Ukyo could pull away, she stabbed the blade between both their hands, holding on tight when Ukyo tried made to move. "Blood oath. We no break it until obstacles no more." Finally, Shampoo let go.

"You could have warned me," Ukyo snapped. She made a face at the long cut that now ran across her palm. "You better not have any diseases." Not that her complaining mattered at this point; Shampoo's blood had already gotten into her wound.

"So, what now?"

The Amazon snorted as she bandaged her own cut. She picked back up the rock she had set down earlier and held it over the broach. "Now we destroy jewel." Ukyo nodded and watched as Shampoo raised the rock over her head.

Should she actually do it, though? Shampoo hesitated and her arm wavered. This jewel had changed everything in only a day; could she really destroy the only current way of getting any attention from Ranma? If she did, and it turns out Cologne had been mistaken on how it worked, what then? What-

A shaky hand closed around Shampoo's fist. Ukyo was looking at Ranma, but turned to Shampoo. The same doubts the Amazon was having were mirrored in her expression. However, there was also a hope. Taking strength from that, Shampoo clenched her fist tighter and brought the rock down, smashing the jewel forever and changing their destinies.

As the two women left, each going their separate ways for the night, they could only hope that they had changed things for the better.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm trying something new; micro-chapters. Three thousand twice a week or so isn't nearly as daunting as seven thousand words every three weeks, is it? Although I detest small chapters like this, I can see why people like them. This is just a trial thing, to see if I like it. Please give me some feedback on what you think of it as well.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 nor am I making a profit from this fiction.**

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With a practiced motion born of many days of proud pomp, Ukyo turned her "open" sign around and unslung her spatula. The lunch crowd would soon be here and she had okonomiyaki to cook. Saturdays were always like this for the teen; sleep in, take a long bath, and then fire up the grill. It was a good life, Ukyo decided. A good life indeed.

The little bell above her front door jingled, signaling the first customer of the day. Ukyo stuck her hand out from the back room, waving it frantically while she got the ingredients ready. "I'll be there in a second!" she called out. "Just take a seat at the grill and think about what you want to order." When the chef finally found all she needed, she walked out, looking at her apron while she tied it. "Okay, ready to serve. What'll it be?"

Then Ukyo saw who it was.

Shampoo smirked at the other teen whose happy-go-lucky smile had just evaporated. "Shampoo happy to see Spatula Girl too," she said, getting a bit snarky.

"What do you want? It's kinda early." A lie, of course, but after the last few days Ukyo didn't feel like dealing with Shampoo. Only last night they had been at each other's throats and the chef's body was still aching. "You can't be here to eat."

With a shrug, the Amazon looked at the menu hanging on the wall behind the grill. "Why not? Shampoo have time off, come see Ukyo, so buy lunch. Give Shampoo special."

A customer was a customer and if Shampoo wasn't here to cause problems then Ukyo really couldn't turn her away. As she put down the batter for an okonomiyaki, the teen sized up the Amazon sitting a few feet away. To her surprise, Shampoo was doing the same thing. It seemed neither one actually knew how to go about this.

"So, have you come up with any ideas on how to get Ranma out of that Tendo mess?" Ukyo asked, trying to get a conversation going. "I figure you already have a few plans."

Shampoo shook her head. "Not know enough about deal between sneaky old men. Obstacles would be easier to just remove, but Airen would not like that."

Well, that was the understatement of the year. Ukyo flipped the seaweed okonomiyaki she was making and tried to come up with something herself. Truthfully, she probably didn't know any more about the arrangement than Shampoo did. "We have a lack of information," Ukyo decided. "If Ranchan is going to get out of this thing, we have to know what we're up against."

Well, that was obvious and both girls readily agreed with it. However, the undertaking was easier said than done; the only people who really knew about the agreement were Ranma, Akane, and their parents. Hell, knowing Genma and Soun, they probably hadn't even told their children the complete story.

"Why not ask Mercenary Girl?" Shampoo suggested. Nabiki could probably find out just about anything, after all. "We split cost."

"And what happens if she sells knowledge about our little pact to the rest of her family?" Ukyo countered. It wasn't that bad of an idea and it could work if only one of them approached Nabiki, though. Still, best to leave that as a last resort.

As the two girls were trying to brainstorm, the front door chimed yet again. Neither teen heard it, however, as they were busy tossing out ideas.

"Wow, both of you in the same room and nothing is broken yet."

The familiar voice abruptly drew Ukyo and Shampoo away from their plotting. They couldn't very well plot about someone who was standing right there, now could they? Shampoo was the first to jump up and she had latched onto Ranma before either he or Ukyo could complain.

The chef wasn't far behind, though. Ukyo stomped over to her rival/partner in crime and picked her up by the back of her shirt. "What happened to us being equal?" she hissed into Shampoo's ear. The Amazon only held up her hands in an exaggerated shrug, seemingly saying that it was first come, first serve. At least the excitable teen went back to her stool, though, after making sure Ranma was going to sit down next to her.

Although he was a little confused, Ranma managed to roll with the situation. "So, what is all this? Some kinda truce?" The boy was honestly interested. Anything that could make Shampoo and Ukyo be civil was a big development!

Instead of answering, Ukyo dodged the question. "Something like that. Just bonding over food," she said, motioning to the okonomiyaki simmering on the grill. "You want one?"

Ranma groaned. "Yeah, that'd be great. I didn't get any breakfast."

The Amazon sitting next to the boy let out a curse in her native tongue. "If Airen want breakfast, he should have came to Cafe'. Can eat here for lunch." It wasn't there for long, but Ukyo knew she saw Shampoo give her a look when she said that. Perhaps it was the other teen's own way of trying to be amicable?

"Yeah, sure. That would have gotten the Tendos even more worked up," Ranma replied. Now that things had settled down, Ukyo was able to look her fiancée over better. Ranma's clothes were dirty, his hair was more messed up than usual and he had a bump forming on the side of his head. Evidently, he noticed his friend's look and explained. "I woke up in the middle of a construction site this morning, if you can believe it." Oh crap. "When I got back to the dojo, Mr. Tendo and Pops were waiting on me. They had already ate all my breakfast. When Akane came down, the first thing she did was hit me with a flower pot and kick me out of the house." He shook his head. "I don't get it."

Shampoo and Ukyo shared a look. They hadn't taken Ranma back to the dojo themselves because they had figured Genma or Soun would have been right behind them.

"Wait, Ranma no remember anything?" Shampoo asked as she let her lunch cool. "What about before waking up?"

The young man just stared at the Amazon, scratching his head. "Actually, the last few days have been pretty forgettable. I just remember going over to your place for lunch and then...it's kinda a blur." He gently touched the bump on his head and winced. "Maybe Akane finally got lucky with one of her punches?"

Somehow Shampoo doubted that, but she nodded anyway. It was probably for the best that Ranma didn't remember anything from when he was under the effect of the Reversal Jewel. As nice as it would have been to call him on liking her, she knew it wouldn't mean anything in anyone's eyes unless it came from Ranma without being under the influence of magic. Shampoo was already on thin ice with Ranma because of things like that.

Then again, it could help Ukyo. Shampoo glanced over at her rival, sizing the chef up. Letting Ranma know that he had yet again fallen under the influence of some Chinese magical device, purposefully or not, would only make her look better. Oddly, though, Ukyo made no mention of it, only accepting Ranma's explanation before going back to her cooking.

"So come on, what's the story here?" Ranma asked. "You two _never_ get along." He suddenly became a bit apprehensive. "You aren't planning anything, are ya?"

"Shampoo not." "Not a thing, Ranchan."

Ranma sighed; they were up to something. "I don't want to know," he stated. "Just don't drag me into it, don't let it get back to me, don't do it when I'm around. Anything that Akane or Pops can get mad at me for, don't do."

Of course, neither girl was pleased with the ultimatum. Shampoo did what she always had done when Ranma told her to do something; just put on a pretty smile, nod, and disregard it. Ukyo, on the other hand, narrowed her eyes.

"Since you're so suspicious of me, I guess you don't want your lunch. No way of knowing if I put something in it." Before Ranma could say anything to the contrary, his fiancée had picked the okonomiyaki up with her spatula and was walking towards the trashcan. Shampoo grinned as well and took a big bite out of her food, smiling as she watched Ranma start to really fret. Sometimes it was fun to see Ranma get almost frantic over something as trivial as food. Of course, Ukyo didn't throw it away. She only put it on a plate and slid it over to the boy.

"Knew you weren't that cold hearted," Ranma grunted as he wolfed down his lunch. Seeing the looks the two girls were giving him, Ranma slowed down somewhat. "Sorry. Like I said though, no breakfast."

Shampoo leaned on the countertop, looking over at her husband. "Shampoo wonder about something. Why Tendos no have to feed Ranma? Is not part of marriage agreement?"

Both Ranma and Ukyo looked at Shampoo like she had asked the oddest question possible. However, the chef soon caught on. "Ah! Um, yeah, Ranchan, don't you have a contract or something?" Ukyo had wished she had thought of this idea; just ask Ranma about the marriage agreement. He wouldn't catch on that they were fishing for information and he probably wouldn't tell Genma they had asked.

Now that both had asked something, the pigtailed boy didn't think it was so strange. His brow scrunched up as he tried to think of an answer. "You know," he said, "I ain't never thought about it too much. I didn't want it in the first place, remember?"

"But you haven't been protesting it as much these days, either," Ukyo countered. "If you have to live there, they should have to feed you or you should leave."

Ranma balked at that. "Come on, don't start, Ucchan. You know I don't want to get married." He purposefully ignored Shampoo's grumble that he already was. "If I wasn't stayin' at the Tendo's house I'd be camping out with Pops."

"What about Airen's mother?" Shampoo asked.

Apparently, she had hit a nerve and Ranma sighed even louder than before. "My mom wants me dead," he mumbled.

Ukyo, unlike Shampoo, had heard this story around school. She didn't believe it at the time, but looking at Ranma's face now it seemed there was truth to it. "Come on, it can't be that bad," she reasoned.

"Can't it? Pops made a stupid contract that said we had to kill ourselves if I didn't turn out a true man. She even carries around a sword." Ranma shuddered, thinking about just what would happen if his mother found out who cousin Ranko actually was.

The restaurant was silent as Ranma finished his meal. Neither girl had every much to say about that, as they didn't know Nodoka well enough to argue otherwise.

"Does Airen want to know mother?" Shampoo finally asked, uncharacteristically quiet.

"Of course," was the immediate answer. The Amazon flinched at the slightly angry tone in Ranma's voice, but he soon settled down when he saw her reaction. "I mean, yeah, who wouldn't? I didn't even remember her until I saw her face a few months ago."

Ukyo hummed, listening in while she cleaned the grill. "I get that, Ranma. I never got to meet my mom, so if yours is still around," she trailed off, unable to describe it properly. "It must be tough."

Characteristically, Ranma scoffed. "S'not that bad. I think mom's better off without Genma around. I don't think we'd have much to talk about anyway." The clock in the wall soon became the boy's object of attention and he hastily pulled out some random bills and coins. "Oh crap, Akane is going to kill me. She finds out I was here and I'm dead. I'll see you guys later! Thanks for the food!" Before anyone could stop him, Ranma was already out of his seat and fleeing out the door, running full-tilt towards the Tendo Dojo.

Shampoo and Ukyo just looked after the boy as he sprinted out of their field of vision. Once he was gone, Ukyo walked from behind the counter and slumped down on one of the stools, drained from the short conversation. Shampoo, though, was still sitting silently, staring at nothing in particular over the counter.

"...what happen to Ukyo's mother?" Shampoo asked, snapping back to reality.

The chef was surprised at the sudden question, but she answered nonetheless. "Died during childbirth. That's why I grew up with my dad." Ukyo's head fell back down, her chin resting on her crossed arms. "I guess that's why I grew up to be such a tomboy; it was always just me and my dad until I was six."

"What happen then?"

Ukyo drummed her fingers on the countertop. It was as if she were pulling the answers from her throat with the jaws of life, but eventually she did respond. "Ran away to go look for Ranma and Genma," she said through clenched lips.

Shampoo only nodded. She didn't offer anything herself, but the silence was appreciated by the other teen.

Wanting to break the mood, Ukyo took a deep breath, exhaled, and clapped her hands together, startling the Amazon. "Well, at least we know what we have to do now! We have to get Nodoka to see Ranchan as a real man so he'll move in with her!"

Shampoo looked confused at how easy Ukyo made it sound. The complete one-eighty in personality and mood also threw her for a loop. "How we do that? If Airen no can get mother to give up contract, what we do?"

Ukyo, though rarely boastful outside of the kitchen, puffed out her chest. "Come on, it's just because Ranchan hasn't tried. She's never even seen him as a guy." The more she thought about it, the more Ukyo was convinced this was the best course of action. "All we have to do is convince her that Ranchan is a great guy even though he's got a curse. We're smart enough to do that."

"Airen's mother no know about curse," Shampoo pointed out. "What if she find out and still want him to kill self?" It was a sobering thought that neither girl wanted to thinking about. Knowing Ranma, though, he would probably weasel out of it. Still didn't mean they wanted to put him into that position.

Finally, Ukyo just threw up her hands in hopelessness. "We can talk all day and never do anything. We need real progress or nothing will ever change." The other girl nodded, though she did so without comment.

Suddenly, her head snapped up. "Shampoo have idea!" she exclaimed. "All we have to do is..." She leaned in, whispering to Ukyo. When she finished, the chef looked confused, but hopeful.

"How will we pull it off?" Ukyo asked. "If we don't do it right it will backfire."

The smug smile, the one that just about every person in Nerima had come to fear, crept onto the Amazon's face. "Spatula Girl leave planning to Shampoo..."

* * *

"This will never work!"

Currently, the two schemers were walking through downtown Nerima. Shampoo, with fake glasses and her hair done in a ponytail, was leading a rather flustered Ukyo who was in jeans, tee-shirt, and her hair in a braid. When the latter started expressing reservations with the plan, Shampoo just tugged on the girl's hand harder.

"It will work! Shampoo disguises fool-proof," she refuted. "Airen and Shampoo use too-too good disguise on Ryoga for waterproof soap."

Ukyo scoffed. "If you're using Ryoga as proof you're good at stealth, then you've got another thing coming, sugar." Still, the idea, in theory, was sound. Now, if only they could find their mark...

Speak of the devil! Or, in this case, the Nodoka. It had taken the better part of the afternoon to do it, but the two had tracked down Ranma's mother. All it had taken was a quick look through the phone book and they were off towards one of the more out-of-the-way parts of Nerima. Of course, the woman wasn't at home so Shampoo and Ukyo had taken to the streets.

The original idea was to throw on disguises, track down Nodoka, and "accidently" mention Ranma in front of her. Ukyo had been slated as more suited to be a boy than a girl, to her aggravation, and Shampoo had went along as the "bubbly high school student". The purple-haired Amazon was really getting into her role, as well.

"You ready?" Shampoo whispered. Nodoka was looking through the selection at an open-air grocer so it would be the best time to implement the plan. Although she was still apprehensive, Ukyo nodded and the two casually walked over to the market.

To look normal, Ukyo bought them both sodas from a nearby machine before leaning up against a wall near Nodoka. "Did you see that Ranma kid the other day, Shana? He beat the crap out of that guy who challenged him." This was Shampoo's "brilliant" plan; to bring the Ranma rumors to Nodoka. Ukyo was using her best male voice to further her disguise; they were dressed up so Ranma's mother wouldn't recognize them later. Ukyo would have felt a lot better had the disguises been better, though.

Playing her part, Shampoo squealed like a schoolgirl. "I know! He's so manly!" Even though she had heard herself on the train over, the Amazon couldn't believe how she sounded. Practicing the exact conversation on the way to Nodoka's neighborhood really helped her pronunciation. As it was, only a tiny bit of her accent was evident. Instead, she sounded like a girl trying to sound overly cute. "He must be a master of martial arts to do things like that!"

As expected, Ukyo heard a gasp from her right which signified Nodoka overhearing them. The woman, though somewhat timid, walked up to the chef and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Excuse me," the woman began, "but did you say Ranma? Would you mean Saotome Ranma?"

_Paydirt_, Ukyo and Shampoo immediately thought. "Saotome...Saotome..." Ukyo pretended to think it over and finally snapped her fingers. "Yeah! That was the guy's name. He lives over in the Furinkan fighter I've ever seen in my life."

Shampoo jumped in next. "And he's very handsome and manly." Idly, she wished that Ukyo had given her a larger script than two key words. It made her sound dumb. "Ranma is a great man and martial artist."

The acting worked and Nodoka's eyes lit up. She clasped her hands together and intently stared at the two girls. "Oh my goodness! That's my son! That's my boy!" she exclaimed and Ukyo couldn't help but smile. This was the woman that Ranma claimed wanted him dead? It wasn't until she caught Shampoo's eyes did Ukyo notice the katana hanging on the woman's back.

Okay, maybe Ranma wasn't so crazy.

"Uh, isn't that illegal?" Ukyo asked, motioning to the katana. However, Nodoka didn't even register the question.

"Tell me, how do you know my son? How is he doing? Is he alright?"

Oh boy, how to answer that? "Well, I just know someone who goes to his school," Ukyo lied. "I was there one day and I saw him fighting this guy. A big, tough guy. That Ranma guy just beat him flat without breaking a sweat."

Nodoka actually squealed. An honest-to-goodness schoolgirl squeal. If Ukyo hadn't heard it in person, she never would have believed a forty-something year old woman could pull it off. "You two have to come to my home and tell me everything you know about my son!" she said, grabbing each by an arm. "I've waited so long to hear something, anything, about my son. I'll make dinner as thanks. You will come, won't you?"

The plan didn't cover this. Ukyo looked sidelong at Shampoo, asking with her eyes what to do. The Amazon very slightly shrugged, indicating that she was game if Ukyo was. Shifting her eyes back over to Ranma's mother, the chef was torn. Nodoka looked like she hadn't hosted anyone in a long time and she seemed to honestly want some company. On the other hand, the longer they stuck around the more of a chance there would be that they would get discovered.

"We would like to come," Shampoo said, preempting any response from Ukyo. Nodoka's smile grew wider and she began walking, thankfully letting go of the two teens and letting them go at their own pace. While she was going on about how nice it will be to have company, Ukyo leaned over to Shampoo.

"What was that?!" she whispered. "We're going to get busted."

Shampoo kept a smile on her face as she hissed back, "We no have choice. Arien's mother no know secret yet; nothing changed."

As much as Ukyo hated it, Shampoo did have a point. The main reason for this entire production hadn't come about yet and if they called it quits now, it never would. The disguised girl took a deep breath, put on a big smile, mimicked Shampoo's cheery demeanor as they walked.

Whether or not they walked to their salvation or doom, though, Ukyo couldn't even begin to fathom...


	4. Chapter 4

So very sorry this took so long to get out. I got carried away reading Shampoo 1/2 and it ate up all my writing time, though I got over the writer's block I had before. There is nothing like reading an excellent fiction by someone else to get you motivated to work on your own.

* * *

Nodoka's house wasn't anything like Ukyo or Shampoo had imagined. It was a fairly simple structure, consisting of a few rooms and a space out back barely large enough to be called a yard. The teens would have expected Ranma's house to be like the Tendo's; large, with a sufficient space for training in the back. How had Genma ever become the martial artist he was today in a place like this?

"Please, excuse the mess," Nodoka said as they entered, though there was no mess at all. The place was practically spotless. "If you'll wait in the dining room, I will fix us a wonderful dinner and we can talk all about Ranma." Before either of the girls could argue, Ranma's mother had ducked into the kitchen.

Once they were away from prying eyes, Shampoo sighed. She hadn't expected all of this to happen. Though, looking around, the Amazon realized that she could finally experience first-hand something Akane never had; Ranma's childhood. Even Ukyo sharing that didn't sour the mood.

As she moved through the small home, a more complete picture of Nodoka was being painted. Little things, trinkets, were scattered all over the place from various cities in Japan. Apparently, Nodoka traveled almost as much as Ryoga; there were pictures from Tokyo proper, Osaka, Kyushu, and a host of other places Shampoo couldn't even recognize. In none of the pictures, though, was a smiling Nodoka. Most of them were simple shots of the woman standing in the foreground against a specific landmark or cityscape.

"She doesn't look very happy, does she?" Ukyo commented and Shampoo had to agree.

Moving on, Shampoo walked down the main hallway in the house. Behind her, Nodoka had called out something and Ukyo was going to the kitchen to answer. It was probably because the poor woman couldn't contain her excitement at finally hearing about her son. It worked in Shampoo's favor, though, allowing her unfettered range through the home.

Idly, the purple-haired girl wondered which room had been Ranma's. She doubted it would be recognizable, though. Nodoka had probably used it for space or for a study. In fact-

Shampoo pushed open the last door in the hall and stopped in her tracks. It was a child's room, that much was certain. The tiny bed in the corner and toys littered about confirmed it. However, it was in a state of disarray; things weren't put away, clothes were still laying on the bed and the drawers were half-open. All of that aside, however, everything was dust-free. Obviously someone had went to great lengths to preserve this room.

_'This is where Ranma lived,'_ Shampoo suddenly realized. The place did look like a young boy's room. Most of the toys were strange-looking figures with colorful armor or plastic swords. The posters on the wall were from Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan movies. The Amazon didn't know how much a three year-old could enjoy martial arts, but she guessed that if anyone could it was her husband.

A soft smile came to her lips as she walked inside. Shampoo could imagine Ranma living in a place like this, idly spending his time playing pretend with his toys while waiting on his mother to call him to lunch. Though horribly boring for her, the girl could picture it.

"Shana, where are you?" That was Nodoka, calling out from the kitchen. Quickly, Shampoo ducked out of Ranma's room before she was discovered and went to see what was up.

Ukyo and Nodoka were in the living room and the former looked fairly upset at being left holding the bag. "There she is. She has a bad habit of wandering off," Ukyo said.

"Looking for restroom," Shampoo replied. She hoped that her Japanese wasn't too bad. "Food is ready, yes? Thank you."

Seemingly accepting the explanation, Nodoka smiled. "It's no trouble. I don't usually get company to cook for so this is a treat. Come on, come with me to the dining room."

As Shampoo followed, Ukyo grabbed her arm and held her back. "Where were you really, Shampoo?" she hissed. "I could have used your help coming up with excuses. I had to practically invent our life stories on the spot." The chef calmed down, though, and released her partner's arm. "You gotta call me Ukito. Nodoka wanted my name."

Ukito? How original. Still, it was better than Shana. "What you say?" Shampoo asked. "Tell Shampoo before she get asked questions."

The basic rundown that Ukyo provided was that they were old childhood friends from Nerima, but going to a different school than Ranma. It was simple enough that additional details could be created on the fly if the need arose yet plausible enough that their information wouldn't be questioned until they were sure Nodoka could be trusted.

Ukyo was going to say more, but as the two finally walked into the kitchen the words died on the chef's lips. There, practically covering the table, was a full spread of food; there was practically enough to feed several families.

"I hope this is enough," Nodoka said. "I'm only used to cooking for myself, so I prepared what I used to when Ranma and Genma were home."

_'Even Genma couldn't eat all this,'_ Ukyo and Shampoo thought together. Still, they didn't want to be rude. "Is just enough." Shampoo smiled graciously and sat beside Ukyo, across from Nodoka.

It was almost sad the way Nodoka just watched her guests eat. She did so with a longing look, as if she were trying to will the two girls to become Ranma and Genma. "How long has it been since you've seen Ranma?" Ukyo asked.

"Oh, it's been thirteen years now. Ranma would be about your age, I'd say." Nodoka sighed and demurely ate some of her rice. As good as it was, she seemed to not enjoy it very much. "Can you tell me what my son looks like now?" she asked, more focused on the conversation than the food. "Every time I go to see him, Genma has dragged him off on some training trip. I don't mind that he's training, not at all, but it's just that after so long I'd want to see him at least once."

Shampoo almost gagged. "You...you been to Tendo Dojo? She asked, clearly surprised. Ranma hadn't mentioned that before.

"Quite a few times, actually. The family is very nice and their youngest daughter, that's Akane, is engaged to my son." She seemed to brighten up a bit at that, not noticing the shadows that loomed over her guests' faces. "She's a perfect match for him...at least, _I_ think she is. A bit spirited, but I'm sure she'll settle down eventually." Her smile died, instead becoming a look of confusing. "But how do you know the Tendos? I thought Soun didn't see students since his wife died?"

Fortunately for both girls, Shampoo fielded the question with relative ease. "We practice martial arts on weekends with the daughters," she replied. "We getting pretty good." Of course, this blatantly contradicted what they had told Nodoka earlier. Maybe she wouldn't notice...

"Oh? But I thought that you didn't know Ranma personally?"

Then again, maybe she would. "We don't. He's never around and we practice with the girls." Then, remembering that she was playing a boy, Ukyo corrected, "I'm not a martial artist myself. I just go to watch Shana."

Nodoka nodded, happy to have cleared up her logic. "Yes, Shana does look awfully fit! You should join her so you'll fill out some and get some muscles." Ukyo tried to grit her teeth and nod, but Shampoo's quiet snickers and smug look weren't helping. "But, really, I don't think girls should carry on with martial arts. It's not our place, you know."

"Maybe for weak Japanese girls," Shampoo grumbled before she could stop herself. Evidently, she realized how that sounded and tried to come up with an excuse, but Nodoka's laughing cut her off.

Curiously, the woman took the comment in-stride. "It must seem that way to you young people, what with all these new age thoughts flying around." Nodoka seemed to wax nostalgic for a moment, closing her eyes in sweet remembrance. "When I was forced to marry my husband, I thought the same thing. It wasn't until the birth of my son that I realized what I would have given up. If not for that marriage I never would have had Ranma." Looking up at Shampoo, she said, "You remind me of Ranko, though. I'm sure she would agree with you; she's quite the tomboy."

Ranko? Shampoo looked at Ukyo for some idea, but the chef shrugged. "Who is...Ranko?"

"Why, she's the nice redheaded girl staying with the Tendos," Nodoka answered. "Akane's cousin. You've never seen her there?"

Ukyo hastily cut in. "O-Of course! I remember her now. Let me guess, the girl with the **giant panda**?" Fortunately, Shampoo caught on before Nodoka could doubt them again and nodded. With that over, Ukyo went back to getting background information from Nodoka that they could use later, but her partner's attention slowly drifted away. Instead, the Amazon just focused on Nodoka and tried to understand the woman.

Shampoo knew about the contract and the gist of what it was about, but deep down she couldn't see Ranma's mother actually going through with it. After all, if she went so far out of her way to be nice to company, despite not having very much to offer in the first place, Nodoka couldn't be a bad person. It was probably Genma's fault. Fathers would always try and get between a mother and their child, no matter what either thought of it. It seemed that Japan was no different in this regard...

A sharp nudge broke the Amazon out of her thoughts. "Hey, are you alright? You spaced out," Ukyo asked.

Shampoo noticed that Nodoka had gotten up and was gathering dishes to wash, making the teen wonder just how long had she been out of it. Going with the flow, Shampoo responded, "Is fine. We clean dishes, yes? Shampoo get dishes, you go on." Although that sounded like a dismissal, it wasn't said with a very commanding voice and Ukyo's eyes narrowed in a mix of annoyance and, dare Shampoo even think it, concern. That was something she didn't like that. Not one bit. They weren't friends so why should Ukyo care?

Telling herself that it was just concern for the mission, the Amazon shrugged it off. She made up some excuse about being lost in thought and that things were alright. To fully divert attention away from herself, Shampoo told Ukyo about Ranma's room and suggested that it should be checked-out while Nodoka was busy. Though Ukyo looked like she was going to say more, the bait was too sweet and she left her partner to her own devices.

Now by herself, Shampoo let out a deep breath to clear her head. Picking up what dishes she could, the girl headed into the kitchen. Nodoka was already hovering over the sink and had a small stack of clean dishes next to her. Shampoo put down hers and grabbed a dry dish rag to dry the clean pile with.

"Are you alright?" the older woman asked. "I noticed that something seemed to be bothering you during dinner, but I thought it best that your boyfriend talk to you first."

There was a cracking sound as the dish Shampoo was drying snapped in half. "Boyfriend? Ukito?" Oh god. All the looks, the whispering, the sitting next to each other; no wonder Nodoka had figured that. "No, no, no! Sham-Shana not-"

Nodoka giggled, taking the broken dish out of Shampoo's hands as she did. "Now, now. There is no reason to be embarrassed. He's a very handsome young man, even if he's not a martial artist. Very polite, as well. You're lucky."

Defeated, Shampoo sighed. "Yes, Shana very lucky." Ukyo would probably get a good laugh out of this situation. Thinking about the other girl, though, reminded Shampoo of why they had came here in the first place; to get to know Nodoka better and to eventually let her know about Ranma's curse. Though, with the woman carrying around that katana Shampoo wasn't certain Ranma would escape harm.

"Miss Saotome, you love Ranma, yes?"

The question obviously came as a suprise as the woman lost whatever lingering amusement she had left. "Yes, I love my son very much." Nodoka's eyes were downcast as she stared into the wash water, letting it settle. "Why do you ask?"

"...why you make Ranma sign contract, then?"

Nodoka flinched at being reminded of the contract. "I don't know how you know about that, but it was the only way I could make sure Genma would take care of my son." She looked quite convinced of that fact.

Shampoo frowned; she hadn't expected that kind of reasoning. "Why you say that? What happen if Ranma no live up to your idea of man? You kill him?"

The hurt was evident on Nodoka's face. "Heavens no! I would never harm my son. Genma, however, doesn't know that." A crafty smile replaced the former hurt as she thought about her husband. "Though he's a martial artist, I think I frighten him enough that he wouldn't neglect his deal with me."

Scary woman. Shampoo nodded, thinking of how Genma had done his level best to keep Ranma safe in China back when Shampoo was still chasing them. Of course, Genma's own training more than outweighed anything she could have done to Ranma.

"You give Shana word you not hurt Ranma no matter what?" Shampoo pressed.

Nodoka nodded, though she was confused. "I promise, but why would you want to know? How do you even know about the contract?"

"That no important," Shampoo hastily replied. She couldn't let Nodoka know who they really were, but otherwise the plan could go forward. "Shana know Ranma personally." She held up her hand to forestall Nodoka's surprised reaction. "Sorry for lie, but had to know if mother could be trusted."

"I-I forgive you, but please tell what is this all about!" Nodoka was suddenly very worried about her son.

How best to go about this, Shampoo wondered. "Aiya, hard to explain. Shana...know Akane Tendo very well." If there was some kind of limit to how big a lie could be, Shampoo was about to try and find it. "We friends. Know Ranma too too well. Know he have...problem." Seeing how Nodoka was taking that, Shampoo quickly amended, "Not life-threatening! Ranma physically fine!"

"Oh, that's good," Nodoka said as she worked on getting her breathing under control. "Perhaps you should, as they say, tell it to me straight to avoid me worrying myself to death?"

Shampoo agreed. "Ranma have...condition. Curse." She let that sink in before continuing. "Ranma embarrassed by curse and can no see mother. Worried that mother would kill him because of contract."

Suddenly, everything fell into place for Nodoka. Ranma was never around when she was and the Tendos were always very agitated when she stayed every long. "My son is avoiding me," she realized. "I-I would never hurt him. Maybe scare him a little if he didn't act manly."

"I sorry to be one to tell you." And the Amazon honestly was. To see that look of realization on Nodoka's face was almost painful.

Ukyo chose that moment to enter. She had been lingering outside, listening to Shampoo break the news, but decided not to interrupt until it was all out in the open. Even though this was ultimately being done for Ranma's own good, the chef couldn't help but feel a little dirty for her role in all this. "If it helps any, I know Ranma really wants to meet you. He's just..."

"Scared. Of me." Nodoka held up a hand to forestall any denials. "You've made it clear that he is." For the first time in a long time, the woman could see what path to take. Sitting around and waiting on Genma clearly was not the solution here as he was also afraid. "Can you tell me where my son really is? I must see him at once."

The two conspirators glanced at each other. Could Nodoka really be trusted not to hold Ranma to that contract? "You promise again not to hurt Ranma?" Ukyo asked. "If you don't swear it, we won't tell you. He's...he's a friend of ours and we don't want to see him hurt." Shampoo snorted at the understatement, but Ukyo hoped that she was conveying how serious she was despite the wording.

"I swear," Nodoka at once replied. "Please, please...just tell me where my son is."

She certainly looked sincere enough. The look in Nodoka's eyes was one that only a desperate mother could have, and it was a look Shampoo knew well. "You convince Shana. You go to Tendo Dojo, tell Ranko that you no hold contract over Ranma's head. She take care of rest." It was what Ukyo and Shampoo had agreed on; they wouldn't come right out and tell Nodoka about the nature of the curse, but they would make sure that Ranma got to hear about it first-hand.

"Ranko? What does she have to do with this?"

"You trust Ukito and Shana?" A nod. "Then you believe what we say. Talk to Ranko about seeing Ranma and tell her you no care about curse. She know what to do. You probably see Ranma same day."

"And maybe leave the katana at home," Ukyo supplied.

Nodoka's face lit up like a thousand watt bulb. She grabbed both girls around the neck and hugged them so tight even Shampoo was impressed. "Oh, thank you! Thank you so much! I'm so happy I ran into you two!"

"It-It no problem," Shampoo choaked. She was finally released and instantly got out of glomp range. For an older lady, Nodoka sure could move quick. "Just make sure you remember instructions. Talk to Ranko. Try to do it when panda not around."

Of course, Nodoka had no idea why the panda would be a problem, but these two people had given her far too much hope to start doubting them now. "I'll go first thing tomorrow. You can be absolutely sure of it."

A small chime clock went off in the living room, announcing that it was now six o' clock. If they left now, the girls would get back to Nerima before seven. For Ukyo, being out so late wasn't a big deal but Shampoo had warned her that Mousse could get suspicious and that it would be best to get home fairly early.

Remembering this, Ukyo nudged Shampoo in the midsection. "Shana, we've got to get going, right?"

"Oh, you have to leave already? I was hoping you could stay the night and come to the Dojo with me tomorrow," Nodoka said.

"You get cold feet? Shana and Ukito be around, but I not think Ranma should know we talked." In fact, it would be best if Nodoka just forgot about them altogether. If, by some horrible twist of fate, things did not work out Shampoo and Ukyo wanted plausible deniability. "Please?"

Nodoka gave in and promised not to say anything. Before the duo eventually left, Nodoka managed to keep them around for a few more minutes, they had been ___ladened_ with leftovers as thanks and some money for the train fair. Ukyo had tried to refuse it on the basis that they had enough, and that Nodoka didn't look like she could spare it, but the Saotome matriarch would have none of that.

The street lights were already flickering on when they finally walked out into the cool summer night. Some people were milling about, but for the most part Ukyo and Shampoo had the street to themselves. The train station wasn't too far so they walked at a sedate pace, reflecting on all they had done.

"You think we did the right thing, Shampoo?" Ukyo suddenly asked.

The Amazon nodded her head almost immediately. "Plan worked perfect. Airen meet mother, mother want to spend more time with Airen, Airen move out. _Perfect_." That was, of course, the absolute best outcome, but Shampoo was certain things would work out.

Ukyo wasn't so sure. "You forget where we live, sugar. This is Nerima; nothing ever goes according to plan. If it did, I'd already be married to Ranchan and you'd be back in China."

"Or Shampoo be married to Ranma and Ukyo be back in boy's school."

Neither girl really meant the insults, but both were thinking things were too comfortable between them. Shampoo had reminded herself earlier that Ukyo was just a temporary ally and that they weren't friends. In fact, if the plan really did work they'd go right back to trying to kill and maim one another.

"So, what did you think of Ranchan's room?" the chef asked, trying to cut through some of the tension. It seemed like she didn't want to think about what would happen later just yet. "I didn't think he'd be a mecha fan."

Shampoo's nose scrunched up as it usually did when the girl didn't understand something Japanese. "Little toy armor very strange. Why so popular with Japanese boys? No could fight in strange armor, people hear you sneaking up on them."

For a moment, Ukyo just stopped in the street and laughed, causing several people to look at her as they walked by. Shampoo blushed a tiny bit in embarrassment and she stomped her foot.

"What Spatula Girl laughing at?! No laugh at Shampoo!" She was about to cuff the annoying girl, truce or no truce, but Ukyo held out her hand.

"It's not armor, Shampoo, it's a robot," the chef managed to get out through the giggles. Once she got it out of her system, as well as calmed Shampoo down, she began to explain the nuances of little boys, giant robots, and the fictional lives that they led, living nothing but the moment.

Because tomorrow...it could all be over.


	5. Chapter 5

Well, this chapter is a little longer than usual. I hope you enjoy it. As always, reviews are appreciated.

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I make a profit from the characters in this fiction. All copyrights are sole property of their respective creators.

**Bold **denotes Chinese.

* * *

Cologne was just fishing putting away the dishes when the front door the restaurant opened. As it was locked for the night, she guessed that Shampoo was finally home. Her great-granddaughter had left rather abruptly after her lunch break, leaving Cologne and Mousse to pick up the slack. As the latter was still trying to get back into Shampoo's good graces, it was easy enough. Still, the matriarch wondered where the girl had went.

Shampoo was just letting down her hair as Cologne hopped out of the kitchen. She and Ukyo had parted ways at the train station, both wanted to get home and have a good night's sleep before tomorrow hit. Good evening, Great-grandmother.

**"You were out rather late tonight, Shan Pu. I had to put up with Mu Tsu far more today than usual."** The annoyed look went away, replaced by a wry smile. **"I trust my sacrifice was of some use?"**

**"I went to see Ranma's mother, Nodoka."** Shampoo wouldn't lie to the old woman because Cologne had a way of finding out things.

**"And how was that visit, daughter?"**

The new voice surprised even Cologne. Shampoo's father was standing in the doorway that led to the living area of the restaurant, having been silently listening to the conversation.

Shampoo seemingly ignored he man after getting over the surprise of his voice. **"It was a good trip, Great-grandmother. I am certain it will have my desired effect. Thank you for your sacrifice."** With that, she took off her disguise glasses and headed towards the bath, only giving her father a slight nod as she passed.

The man let out a sigh and went to sit beside Cologne. He took off his trademark sunglasses and leaned down tiredly on his arms, staring at his reflection in the lenses of the eye wear his daughter had left on the table.

Cologne also took a proper seat on the table and softly patted the poor man on his shoulder. **"It seems like Shan Pu is starting to warm up to you, doesn't it? She acknowledges your presence now at least."**

**"I don't know. That almost makes it worse. At least when she was ignoring me it was easier to spend time with her. Now she asks me what I want, taking away an excuse."**

Unbeknownst to the two elders in the main room, Shampoo hadn't headed to the bath just yet. She had heard most of her father's words, and lightly walked off with a face that gave nothing away, going past her room and towards the backdoor of the restaurant.

* * *

In another part of Nerima, something else was changing. At Tokyo International Airport, the control tower was the scene of a great commotion. The radar operators were huddled around a terminal which showed the con signs of the arrivals and departures, but one unidentified blip was causing a fuss.

"So, what is it?" the night shift controller asked. "It's the size of a small biplane but it doesn't answer the radio or transmit a flight number." He turned to his colleagues. "When did you say it first appeared and where did it come from?"

"The East China Sea, sir. That's where we first spotted it leaving PRC airspace." It was moving too slow to be a missile or military craft, so the JSDF hadn't been called. If whatever it was continued toward Tokyo, however, the air force couldn't be left out of the loop. The technician pushed in the trigger of his microphone again. "Unidentified aircraft, you are in a commercial flying lane. Transmit your identification number and respond, over." Only dead silence responded.

The supervisor ran a hand through what remaining hair he had. "Call the air force. Now that it's over Japanese soil, we have to tell them."

As one of the technicians dialed, the supervisor grabbed a pair of binoculars. Given how close it was to the airport, he could probably see the anti-collision beacons.

There was a full moon out tonight, which would help with locating the plane. "What direction is it approaching from," the man asked as he scanned the sky. "Wait, I think I see it...what the hell is that thing?!"

At the declaration, everyone rushed from their seats and crowded the windows of the tower. Most of them couldn't see, but when the supervisor pointed at the moon, it became clear what he was alarmed about.

"My god..."

There was a giant flying bull descending upon Nerima.

* * *

Dawn was more than an hour away when Ukyo's bedside alarm went off. With a yawn, she pushed the covers off and crawled out of her futon. A shower would probably wake her up. She trudged into the bathroom, squinting at the light she turned on.

After the brisk soak in the steaming water, the chef felt a lot more aware of things. She slipped a towel around herself and stepped out, grabbing her toothbrush in her free hand.

"You up early."

Ukyo spun around and nearly choked on her toothbrush when she spotted Shampoo sitting in a chair by the bedroom window. As it was, the poor girl had to cough up some toothpaste and get her breathing under control. "S-Shampoo! What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Shampoo see light on and decided to visit. No could sleep," she shrugged. The Amazon was somewhat surprised that Ukyo could sleep, but she didn't hold that against her partner. "Why you up so early?"

"I wanted to make sure I got to the dojo before Nodoka," Ukyo replied. She grabbed some clothes and stared at Shampoo for a few seconds. When the girl didn't take a hint, Ukyo made a shooing motion with her hand. "I've got to get dressed."

Shampoo blinked. "So? What you want, help?"

It was a test of patience not to snap at the Amazon. "No! I want you to leave or turn around. Don't' just sit there and stare."

With a smirk, Shampoo turned her chair around. "Ukyo such prude. Shampoo no look. Not like you have anything Shampoo no have better of." The purple-haired beauty was rewarded with hearing Ukyo snarl. Sometimes it was just too much fun to screw with her rival.

While Ukyo was changing, Shampoo looked around for something to catch her attention. There really was nothing of interest around; no pictures, no trinkets, no decorations. It was just the bare-bones of living. How anyone could stand living here was amazing. It would be far too boring.

Well, there was that little hand mirror on the nightstand. Shampoo lazily picked it up and checked her own appearance. There were slight bags under her eyes thanks to not getting any sleep and her eyes were bloodshot. Shampoo hoped she didn't run into Ranma looking like this.

"So, why didn't you get any sleep?" Ukyo asked as she started to slide on her pants. "What have you been doing all night?"

The question made Shampoo unconsciously tilt the mirror so that she could see Ukyo and the Amazon's eyes widened slightly. Seemingly to make sure she didn't turn around, the chef was directly in the refection of the mirror in all her glory. "Nothing much," Shampoo replied, completely distracted. If that was what Ukyo had been hiding under that frumpy vest...thing then the buxom Amazon suddenly had some competition. "Shampoo have lot to think about. Very...anxious about today." How in the world did the chef fit into those tight pants?

"Yeah, I understand that, sugar. If things don't go well then we'll have to run interference for Ranma and he won't be happy."

Shampoo nodded as she watched Ukyo start binding her chest. How could those thin strips of cloth make a top-heavy girl like Ukyo look like a boy? More amazingly, how had Ranma nearly mistaken the woman for anything else the first time he laid eyes on her?

However, the more she watched the more depressed Shampoo got. If Ukyo ever used that body offensively, then Shampoo found herself losing the sole advantage she had over the other girls. After all, she didn't have the previous friendship with Ranma or the arranged marriage; all she had were her looks. If Ukyo ever discovered just how beautiful she was, then Shampoo could kiss that advantage goodbye.

"Shampoo? Shampoo! Are you even listening to me? I said you can turn around now," Ukyo fumed as the Amazon almost jumped in her chair, fumbling with something in her hands before sheepishly setting her chair around right. It was a quick recovery from whatever was bothering the girl. "I said, I'm ready to go. Where do you want to wait at?"

The Amazon thought it over for a moment. They could risk hiding inside, but with Happosai around it would be pretty difficult. No, it wouldn't work at all like that.

"We have to hide across street," Shampoo finally answered.

"On top of one of the houses or something? We'll be spotted for sure."

"Then we go farther away. Ukyo have binoculars, yes?" Something about that triggered a memory from Shampoo's childhood and she grinned. "It be like stakeout! Shampoo no do one of those since last village hunt!"

The excitement was infectious and Ukyo found herself looking forward to it. "I think I have a pair my dad gave me for my birthday one year. Lemme check." It took the girl a few moments, but eventually she dragged out a case and tossed it onto the end table. The top popped open and both teens crowded over it.

"Okay, we've got binoculars and a tripod. What else do we need?"

"Food! Good stakeout need snacks and drinks." Shampoo nodded sagely, pleased that she had more experience than her partner. "Should we wear trench coats like American crime drama people?"

Somehow Ukyo didn't think that heavy trench coats and the Nerima summer would mesh well. "Let's just stick with what we've got. The more stuff we have, the bigger the chance we'll be spotted, right?"

Shampoo nodded, a bit let-down. Still, she soon perked back up when Ukyo said she had plenty of food that could taken along. Despite the seriousness of the situation, the preparation was lightening the mood. For a few hours at least, the girls could pretend they were just going on a regular outing at the park or beach, something they hadn't been able to enjoy in months.

"Are you sure Mousse isn't going to follow you?" Ukyo asked as she headed down the stairs to the kitchen. "He could royally mess all this up."

"He no problem. Shampoo put fear of god in him after cursed jewel. Where your ice?" Shampoo had grabbed a cooler out of storage and was now grabbing soft drinks to put inside.

Ukyo, who was quickly packing a small basket with food, balanced on one foot while she flicked open the freezer with the other. "Top rack. There should be a bag."

In all, it only took a few moments for the two women to pack enough food and drinks to last all day if need-be. Shampoo, the designated pack mule, grabbed the cooler and binocular case while Ukyo led the way with the basket of food. They were out the door while dawn was just breaking and the streets were relatively deserted.

Shampoo was the first to jump up onto the rooftops. It was her preferred method of travel, barring her bike, because she didn't have to deal with all those annoying pedestrian traffic laws that the Japanese insisted on having. Ukyo, with slightly more difficulty, managed to get up to Shampoo's level by hopping up onto a stack of boxes that were sitting by a house.

"Ukyo take long enough," Shampoo smugly chided. "If no careful, get out of shape and no can keep up with Shampoo at all."

Once on the roofs themselves, the chef was having little trouble jumping the small gaps between houses, so she was running beside her rival. "You're just a freak! No one should be able to jump that high from the ground without some extra boost." The critique wasn't honest, though. Ukyo had long resented the fact that she couldn't get the altitude Ranma, Shampoo, or even Kodachi could. It was some comfort that Akane was even worse, though.

Of course, Shampoo laughed at Ukyo's declaration and, to rub some salt into the wound, she started to do intricate flips with every leap, graceful as her curse would indicate. "Shampoo specialty is fighting in air. Only person better than Shampoo is Ranma." It wasn't _exactly_ bragging, but Shampoo wanted to point it out to her companion. Then again, seeing Ukyo's slightly-angry face, the girl amended, "It not too hard to understand. Shampoo think Ukyo do it with a bit more confidence."

As soon as the words came out of the Amazon's mouth, Ukyo's face broke out into a smile. "Thanks, Shampoo."

Actually getting thanked for something, and by her rival no less, was a surreal thing for Shampoo. Oddly, it also made her feel a little bit better than the earlier smarminess did. Chalking it up to her just being too tired for a proper argument, Shampoo didn't think any more about it and simply enjoyed the feeling, even going so far as to give Ukyo a few tips as they hopped roof-to-roof. After all, if things went well today then she could afford to be nice.

The spot eventually agreed upon for the stakeout was a flat-topped office building a few blocks from the Tendo Dojo. It served well enough; the ledge was low, the breeze was nice, and there was ample room. Ukyo had set up the binoculars and trained them on the dojo's front door while Shampoo fashioned a breakfast for two out of the edible odds and ends they had grabbed.

"So," Ukyo began as she took a bite out of her simple ham sandwich, "when do you think Nodoka will get here?"

Shampoo shrugged. She had finished off her tiny lunchbox quickly and was now lounging around on her back, happy to finally get some rest. "Shampoo no know, going to rest a bit."

"A cat nap, huh?" Ukyo asked, happy to see Shampoo chuckle just a bit before letting her eyes slide closed.

Now, alone, the chef could finally relax. The Amazon had been far too odd today for Ukyo to truly let her guard down; showing up in her room, getting around a locked window and front door, was only the start. No, other actions had set off warnings to Ukyo. To start with, Shampoo was never supportive or helpful, not even when they had worked together in the past. Giving someone tips on how to get better? Letting slip she was a fan of crime dramas? Only shooting one or two snide comments in as many hours? That was not Shampoo.

Ukyo frowned at Shampoo's sleeping form; that was another thing. Why would Shampoo let her guard down so quickly? Either she was very, _very_ tired or, heaven forbid, she was becoming comfortable around her rival. That was something Ukyo wouldn't ever have through possible. Hell, it would be easy to just pick up a brick or something and bash the girl's head in. Not that the teen would do it, though. Ukyo was a lot of things, but cruel wasn't one of them. Not that she had any qualms about fighting Shampoo after this was all over; even if it came down to one of them dying...well, that was always a risk, wasn't it? It was just that attacking someone in their sleep was _dirty_.

"Maybe I'm getting soft myself," Ukyo sighed. A year ago she probably would have tried something just like that. Certainly she would have done it to Ranma or Genma in their sleep. Dirty indeed. Ha.

She went back to the binoculars and checked the Tendo's one more time. Nodoka still hadn't shown up and things were still quiet. Ranma and Genma weren't even working out yet. Ukyo walked back over to Shampoo and sat down on the blanket the purple-haired teen had laid out.

_'You know, Shampoo's not so bad when she's asleep,'_ Ukyo thought. In fact, the girl didn't make any noise at all; Ukyo would have liked to believe that she snored at least. Just some kind of kink in Shampoo's armor, but no, fate wasn't that kind.

Really, how could Ranma _not_ like the Chinese girl? Ukyo stared sadly at the sleeping form of her partner and how achingly beautiful Shampoo was, even when she wasn't trying. A cute face, gorgeous hair, a bust that would make most grown women jealous, legs that just didn't end, and a lean, muscular figure. Ukyo, having pretended to be a boy for years, could certainly appreciate what boys would see in a girl like Shampoo; even Ranma, as prudish as he was, was probably affected.

"Not like me, huh?" the chef mused aloud. No, her own figure wasn't anything to write home about. "My hair isn't as exotic as yours, my legs aren't as long, and I don't even know how to act like a girl."

It just wasn't _fair_. Ukyo clenched and unclenched her fists as she tried to calm down, but it wasn't working. It was always like this; Ukyo would take one step forward, finding out Ranma liked her despite everything, but then take two steps back; Ranma liked Shampoo as much or more. How could the chef possibly compete? Worse, it was like the Amazon knew it. What else could all the sympathy be for? Consolation.

Ukyo threw herself down on the blanket in disgust, not caring if she woke up the Amazon with the action. She was just so upset with herself. When her head hit the rooftop, she almost regretted the action, but the pain made her calm down at least.

Sympathy was the one thing Ukyo hated. Her father had been sympathetic, Ranma had been sympathetic, Akane had been sympathetic. Even Genma, before he got the beat down of his life, had said he _understood_ what Ukyo must have been feeling. To get it from Shampoo, though, the one person Ukyo counted as an almost-equal, was too much.

But the worst thing? The absolute most galling part of all of this? Ukyo was actually catching herself reciprocating. She was being nicer to Shampoo, almost being concerned when she didn't act like herself. The mission with Nodoka was over so why were they still working together? Ukyo didn't know and Shampoo hadn't commented on it. They were both happy to find any excuse to keep the peace. It was almost like...

"...Damn you, Shampoo," Ukyo whispered. She was actually starting to like the Amazon and enjoy her company. They had went two days without trying to kill each other and the thought of going back to "normal" made Ukyo feel uncomfortable, despite telling herself otherwise.

The Amazon, now quite asleep, rolled over onto her side, facing Ukyo. The chef glanced over at the teen's sleeping face, wondering how someone could look so innocent and yet be so ruthless. What was lurking under that peaceful exterior sometimes really frightened Ukyo. What if Shampoo decided to remove all the "obstacles" from her life despite how Ranma would feel about the matter? Ukyo was sure she would hold her own for a little while, but as their brief fight the night before last punctuated there were several gaps in skill and attitude between them. The only real consolation Ukyo had on the matter was that Shampoo hadn't killed Akane when she had the chance. If she wouldn't kill a threat like that the raven-haired teen doubted Shampoo would go after her first.

_'Then again, once Akane is out of the picture...'_ Ukyo let the thought trail off. When it was down to just her and Shampoo, mano a mano, the thought of what Shampoo was capable of was suddenly at the forefront of Ukyo's mind.

And it scared her.

"You might just be the death of me, sugar," Ukyo whispered to her sleeping rival. She lightly brushed the hair out of Shampoo's face, entranced with how close she was to the Amazon. "But I won't a pushover. I still have some surprises that even Ranma doesn't know about." The sleeping teen nuzzled into the contact like a cat, seemingly feeling the tense atmosphere even in her sleep.

"First it was guys who turned into ducks and pigs, now it's lesbians. This place is messed up."

Ukyo yanked her hand away from Shampoo like it was on fire, just managing to get it out of the way when the Amazon sat upright, seemingly awake. The voice that had disturbed them belonged to a young man standing on the far edge of the roof. From the look of him, he was Chinese with scale armor and bracers. How he had gotten up there, though, was a mystery. They were so far up that no one could simply jump up here and the "camp" was blocking the roof access door.

The boy caught the bonbari that was sent towards his head. Even Ukyo was surprised at the sudden attack, but she wasn't about to question Shampoo.

"Who are you?" the chef demanded, praying that he didn't see very much. If Shampoo found out about it, she might take it the wrong way. "Tell me how you got up here!"

"Slow down, dyke. You don't want to be ordering me around." He looked at the mace in his hand before tossing it over his shoulder with a sneer. "And you better keep your bitch on a leash."

At least he was staying where he was, Ukyo thought, though why Shampoo wasn't taking offense to the taunt was beyond her. The girl simply sitting there, her face forward. Whatever expression she was making, Ukyo couldn't see it from where she was standing, was having an effect on the boy as he made no move to advance on them.

In fact, he looked a bit unnerved. "You, dyke," he called out, not looking from Shampoo, "tell me where Saotome Ranma is."

"Even if I knew I wouldn't tell you," Ukyo snarled. She had her spatula out now and was pointing it at the boy. "Why don't you just take a long walk off of a tall building, pantyhose freak," Ukyo suggested, noticing the pantyhose tied around his waist.

Immediately the Chinese boy's countenance turned for the worse. His smug attitude had changed into a feral one and he took out a canteen of water. "Big mistake, dyke. You should have just answered me like a good little girl." Then he did something unexpected.

He jumped off the roof.

Ukyo blinked, lowering her spatula. She hadn't actually wanted him to hop off the building. She walked over to Shampoo to ask her what she thought, and try to explain away the various incriminating insults the boy had used, when something caught her attention. The Amazon was swaying slightly, almost threatening to fall over. Just as Ukyo reached her, the girl did just that, reveling the truth.

Shampoo let out a hitching snore before quieting back down into her normal breathing patters. The girl had been asleep the entire time! Ukyo felt like kicking herself for not noticing it earlier. "How about that," she wondered aloud. That was some damn good aim earlier for someone who's eyes weren't even open. Ukyo was now left wondering what to do about what was sure to be a very ugly mess on the sidewalk below. Should she call the police, the fire department, or the street cleaners? With a sigh, the chef started back over to the door so she could get to a phone.

Or, at least, Ukyo would have went for the door if she didn't find herself slammed into the rooftop. The attack had come out of nowhere, knocking the girl over and slamming her down. There was something painfully pressing down into her back. It was big, hairy, and very, very muscular. As she tried to let out a cry of help, fingers wrapped around her and the hand that had been holding her down was now lifting her up into the air, holding her up so she could see her attacker.

It was a cow. A giant, hairy, flying cow. The way the monster was looking at her, though, was familiar as was the cold hatred reflected in its eyes.

"A c-curse," Ukyo grunted and the creature let out a deep grunt-like sound which probably passed for a chuckle. "You won't get...Ranma." The fist squeezed tighter and Ukyo felt herself start to blackout. Unconsciously, her eyes flicked over to the binoculars, hoping that this monster wouldn't find her fiancée'.

Unfortunately, the bull monster followed her gaze and spotted the surveillance equipment. He tossed Ukyo away and floated down to the rooftop, his hooves tapping with every step forward he took. Bending down, he could the house that was being surveyed and wondered why it was so interesting. His question was answered when a black-haired boy and middle-aged man bounded outside, launching into an early-morning training session. Pleased, Taro stepped away from the side, intent on simply going down there now. However, there was still the sleeping girl to deal with. Her girlfriend had gotten some payback, but she hadn't. Well, that could be remedied.

Ukyo, who had just managed to get back onto her feet, started to hobble over to the boy-turned-monster. She was in bad shape; there was a large cut over her eye that was steadily leaking blood from when she was slammed into the roof and her back was really starting to hurt. The chef prayed she hadn't fractured anything back there, but being able to walk was a good sign. Seeing him standing over Shampoo, though, blocked out the pain. She couldn't let her partner go down like that. Using the last of her strength, Ukyo lifted her spatula and turned it on its side rather than using the flat head. It easily sliced through the air, embedding itself right between the monster's wings.

Taro let out a wail that only a wounded animal could, straining to rip the offending weapon out of his back. When he did, he crumpled it up like rice paper and loomed over Ukyo, his eyes promising pain.

"Sorry, but only I'm allowed to beat her. You're not getting Ranchan either." It was all bravado, though. Ukyo had nothing left and simply accepted the blow the monster sent at her.

Ukyo felt the bit dislocate her arm. She was sent flying and this time there was no wall to stop her flight. The monster had knocked her in the opposite direction where there was nothing to stop the chef's flight.

_Bye, Ranchan,'_ was the teen's last thought as consciousness fled, not even feeling her foot being caught at the last moment before she went over the edge...


	6. Chapter 6

A longer chapter since I was a bit late with the update! It was hard to write so I hope it's not too bad. Read, review, and tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 nor do I make a profit off the characters in this story.

* * *

Waking up to the most inhuman wail possible was not a normal thing for Shampoo. Being woken up by a quacking duck, an old woman with a big stick, or a building collapsing around her, sure. Giant cow monsters with wings? Not even on the list.

She almost didn't react fast enough to catch Ukyo and even though she did, it was only by the foot. Shampoo winced as both her shoulder popped and Ukyo's head hit the side of the building, but the Amazon figured it was better than dropping a few floors. At least the monster wasn't coming after her. It was just standing there, seemingly amused with Shampoo's struggles. Sadistic thing, but Shampoo wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Shampoo think Ukyo need to stop eating own okonomiyaki," the girl grumbled as she pulled her unconscious partner back up. Once Ukyo was secure and out of the way, Shampoo turned to face the thing that had been the cause of her near death.

Taro, who had been watching and enjoying the show, now stomped forward. His back was still pretty messed up from that last-ditch effort by the other girl, but it wouldn't be too long before he could start flying again. Until then, though, he could play around with the dyke's bitch.

Reading the beast's expression, Shampoo went for her weapons. She was annoyed to find that one of her maces was missing, but simply replaced it with her dadao. It looked like this was going to be an ugly fight anyway.

Still, more to ease her own conscience than anything, Shampoo spoke up. "Why stupid cow attack Ukyo?!" she demanded. If the chef was actually seriously injured...well, Shampoo didn't want to think about that. Not that she actually cared about the Chef's welfare, the Amazon told herself. It was because it was _**her**_ job to defeat Ukyo, not anyone else's.

Of course Taro couldn't answer no matter how much he would have liked to throw in some verbal barb. The only downside to his curse was its lack of human vocal cords. Oh well, when he beat this girl flat he could taunt her all he wanted before going to take care of Saotome and find out where Happosai was.

Seeing that she wasn't going to get an answer, Shampoo tensed and opened combat with the monster. She jumped, trying to come down atop the beast sword-first, but Taro ducked out of the way and retaliated with punch that was much faster than Shampoo expected for such a bulky appendage. The Amazon brought her bonbari up to deflect the blow, and it worked, but it was knocked out of her hand sent flying over the edge of the building after. It also elicited a sharp crack from her hand as it departed. Shampoo didn't care about it, though, because the punch alone had dented the mace enough to be useless. Now the girl found herself with only her sword.

It had been awhile.

Taro gave out another wail as the vulnerable flesh between his fingers was slashed by Shampoo's reprisal. The little bitch was quick. Fortunately, it wasn't too bad and it certainly didn't keep Taro from forming a fist. He drew back his arm to do just that, but a flash of metal right in front of his face made him leap backwards. The Amazon had closed the distance between them and now she was making a stab for Taro's neck, slicing off a few hairs as she narrowly missed.

That sword was a problem, the cursed boy realized. When the girl went for another broad slice, he struck the flat part of the blade with his hand and swatted it away. This left him open to a savage knee strike to the jaw, but it was worth it to avoid being cut into. That little girl was hitting a lot harder than Taro had thought possible, however.

Shampoo rolled out of the way as a heavy hoof impacted her she had just been standing. Her sword had skid along the roof but hadn't went over, luckily enough. She grabbed it just in time to stop Taro's fist from crushing her skull. The flesh hit the flat side of the dadao, shaking Shampoo down to her feet. If she had her guandao then the fight would be much easier, but having to get within sword range was becoming a problem.

The two combatants gave each other more space this time, each silently sizing up the other. Shampoo set her stance and waited, extending her sword arm out from her body and letting it go lax.

How long had it been since she had actually fought like an Amazon? A few months? A year? Cologne's early-morning sword lessons were starting to come back to Shampoo and she could almost imagine the office top becoming a flat plateau outside of her village. It was always a life-or-death struggle with the old woman on those days, just as it was with this beast now. Her eyes snapped open, coming to a deadly focus.

"Come, cow."

Enraged, Taro bellowed and exploded into action. His wings fluttered in the high winds and he was soaring towards the girl like a bullet. Shampoo tried to sidestep, but she was far too slow, the sudden flight taking her by surprise. The monster's hairy fist connected solidly with Shampoo's chest. He didn't see the girl's smirk until he was caught, however.

Shampoo accepted the hit; she grasped the first with her free hand and used her adrenalin-fueled muscles to push herself upwards. She shot up into the air, tucked her legs in, and started to spin head over heels. The dadao in her hand became a buzz saw and sliced into Taro's arm, rolling up with its wielder as it cut more and more flesh.

As the massive monster let out another wail, Shampoo tried land. Her chest was starting to burn and she couldn't breathe well. Fortunately, she landed on her feet, but even with her legs absorbing the landing it sent shockwaves through her chest. The worst thing was that her spin had lost momentum before it reached the creature's neck. She couldn't run, nor did Shampoo want to. There was no point; it could fly and Ukyo was hurt. While Taro tried in vain to stem the bleeding on his arm, Shampoo moved in front of the okonomiyaki chef.

"W-Why aren't you gone?" Some point during the fight, Ukyo had apparently snapped back to her senses. She tried to sit up, but a large welt on her shoulder was preventing her from moving very much. "I tried t-to give you time. Sorry..."

The sad smile on her rival's face was mirrored by Shampoo. "Stupid. Amazon no run from challenge." She cast a look a look back to catch Ukyo's eye. "And Shampoo no leave ally." Not wanting to see what effect her words had, the teen looked forward, determined to at least face the monster while on her feet.

Two things happened at the moment Taro charged towards Shampoo; one, she felt something hit her back from behind, bowling her over and shielding her. The other was the sudden appearance of two feet in front of her eyes. Shampoo's eyes looked skyward and saw the moment Ranma braced himself to catch Taro's fist.

Ranma struggled to stop the fist from connecting with either Shampoo or Ukyo. While training with his father, he had heard all of the yelling from the rooftop and had wandered over to investigate. When he saw someone almost go over the edge, he had ran up the building's stairs as fast as he could, just in time to see a giant monster looming over his two friends. Even only holding back one fist, Ranma was having serious problems stopping it.

"It's never anything simple with you two, is it?" he grunted. The boy finally managed to push Taro to the side enough that his fist impacted into the roof rather than the teens behind him, but that was all he could do. The monster was just far too strong.

As for Taro, similar thoughts were going through his head. Saotome Ranma had just been delivered to him, but was much stronger than expected. Not only that, Taro's arm probably needed stitches and fighting with an injury like that wouldn't be smart. Of course, now that he knew where Ranma lived it was only a matter of time before the cursed Chinese boy could put his plans into motion. A momentary rest wouldn't hamper them. Testing his wings, the bull lifted off the ground and cradled his injured arm in his free hand. He glared for a moment, both at Ranma and the girls, before letting out a yell of rage, letting his frustrated voice tell them he would be back, and soaring off into the clouds.

The tense atmosphere from the fight lifted as suddenly as Taro had originally appeared. Shampoo, letting out a breath she didn't even know she was holding, simply stayed where she was, not even minding Ukyo still being on her back. How embarrassing, having someone else try and protect her when they couldn't even protect themselves. Apparently, the battered chef felt something of the same embarrassment as she tried to push herself off of Shampoo, but found that it hurt too much.

"Sorry," Ukyo mumbled, just loud enough for Shampoo to hear her. "I didn't know Ranma would get to you first."

Even if the Amazon was inclined to answer, the sound of Ranma rushing back over to them kept her silent. The boy was looking decidedly worried at all the blood and bruises his two friends were sporting, though he tried to keep his voice level as he asked where they were hurt.

They couldn't waste time with this, though. Ukyo's eyes fluttered over to the side of the roof where their surveillance equipment was setup. If Ranma asked about it, what could they say? That they were spying on him? How would he take _that_?

"Ranchan," Ukyo called out, cutting-off Shampoo and Ranma's back and forth about injuries, "can...can you get us to Doctor Tofu's clinic? I think there's something wrong with my shoulder. And I want to get off the roof."

If that monster came back right now...

Ranma shook his head. "No way, his clinic is across town! I'm taking ya both to the dojo."

Shampoo and Ukyo shared a look. If they were there when Nodoka decided to drop by then the jig would be up. Then again, both were in pretty bad shape from the fight and walking across Nerima in their condition wasn't smart.

Whatever decision the girls would have came to by themselves was moot. Ranma simply grabbed one under each arm and started carrying them down the stairs despite Ukyo's protests and Shampoo's suggestive snuggling. Peace was peace, but when it came to getting this close to Ranma then all bets were off.

The boy did seem somewhat sorry that picking them up in such a manner. He didn't even try to pry Shampoo's arms from his stomach and instead made sure to take a slow and easy course back to the dojo. He knew that being moved in their condition wasn't good, but it was preferable to leaving them on the roof of that building.

Ukyo accepted her position and tried to keep from showing any pain. Her back was practically screaming in pain and her legs were starting to go numb. Unlike Shampoo, she grabbed onto Ranma's waist to keep steady as he slowly made his way through the crowds of people. Come what may, it seemed like the three of them were heading back to the dojo. Perhaps they could keep out of Nodoka's sight or maybe the woman wouldn't come around? Chances were slim, of course, but Ukyo was hoping that a miracle would happen. At least Ranma hadn't asked about the binoculars yet.

It seemed like an eternity before they saw the arch of the Tendo Dojo wall. Genma, who had been left in the backyard when Ranma took off, stopped his solo practices and walked up to his son. He was about to start yelling at the boy until he saw the two women under his arms. Fear at what Soun would do to him flashed across his face and he started looking around frantically for the his friend.

"Boy, are you insane? What are you doing?!" he demanded.

Ranma quickly shut him up with a precision kick to the face. "Don't start, old man. They were ambushed by some freak cow or something." He shook his head at how stupid that sounded. "Just call Doc Tofu and tell him to get over here. I'm gonna put them somewhere so they can rest."

Genma rubbed his bruised nose and was ready to start a grand argument, but he saw how beat up Shampoo and Ukyo were. The cut on the latter's face had yet to completely stop and her face was still caked in bits of stone and blood. The way the Amazon was breathing didn't sound well either. Shaking his head, he moved out of the way and went to the kitchen to call the doctor. It was Ranma's funeral when Akane found out, though.

Speaking of the youngest Tendo, she was still eating breakfast with Nabiki and Soun when Ranma walked past on the porch. Predictably, her hair stood up on end at seeing not one but two other woman wrapped around her fiancée'.

"Ranma, what the hell is this?! You ran off to-" She was cut off when Ranma grabbed the pillows that he and his dad would usually sit on and placed them out on the wooden deck. "Oh god, what happened to them?"

Shampoo grunted as she was set down. Her ribs were starting to throb at this point and her breath was coming out in uneven gasps. Ukyo was in much the same position, but it was clear to see the chef's relief when her head hit the pillow Ranma had laid out.

A few moments later, Genma made his way into the sitting room. He was surprised an all-out war hadn't started yet, but he was still going to keep his distance. "I called the doctor, boy," he grunted.

"What happened to them, Ranma? I've never seen anyone get beat up this bad." Both Ukyo and Shampoo growled at Akane's wording, but their rival just ignored them.

"I honestly ain't got any idea. I heard them fighting something so I saved them." Being himself, Ranma sounded fairly proud of that fact. "It was some flying monster cow. No problem for me, though." He turned to Shampoo. "Hey, how long did you two fight it before...what the heck?"

Everyone turned to the Amazon at Ranma's surprise only to see that she was lightly snoring. She had fallen dead asleep while everyone was talking.

"What's up with her?" Akane asked. She moved to shake Shampoo awake, but Ukyo caught her hand before she could.

"She didn't sleep any last night. Just leave her alone until the doctor gets here." It was shocking to just about everyone that Ukyo had ran interference for Shampoo. When Ranma opened his mouth to say something, Ukyo caught his eyes. "Please, Ranchan? I just want to rest for awhile myself." She only caught the barest of nods before her eyes slid closed and she drifted off...

* * *

When Ukyo next opened her eyes, she found someone else looming over her. She let out a surprised yelp at the close face and tried to sit up, but two strong hands kept her shoulders pinned to the floor.

"Calm down, calm down! Miss Kuonji, you're going to aggravate your wounds!"

The voice was one Ukyo recognized. Doctor Tofu and Ranma were sitting beside her on the porch and it was the doctor that had woke her up. Looking over to her side, she could see that Shampoo was awake and treated. The poor girl looked like a mummy with all those bandages.

Tofu sighed when Ukyo finally calmed down. "Sorry for frightening you, Ukyo. I guess the morphine shot woke you up."

Shampoo unsuccessfully stifled a giggle at her partner's expense. "Silly girl almost crack her head on floor. You bad, bad sleeper."

"Yeah, well, you get poked with a needle when you're asleep and see how you take it."

Akane, who was sitting nearby, chose that moment to butt into the conversation. "Now that you've had your beauty sleep, can we please find out what you were doing on that roof? Who the heck was it that attacked you?"

"It was a guy, about your age," Ukyo explained, ignoring the first question and hoping that everyone else did as well. "He was looking for Ranchan, but I told him to shove-off." The chef started to laugh, but stopped when the action caused her shoulder to ache. "He didn't like that so he tossed some cold water on himself, turned into that...thing...and roughed us up."

Ranma's head dipped. "So, it's my fault. That thing was looking for me and you two got caught in the middle."

"Airen being stupid," Shampoo interjected. "Cow would have attacked anyway. That just how it was." Of course, Shampoo didn't know that for certain. It could have very well been something Ukyo had said before the Amazon had woken up. She was inclined to believe Ukyo over blind speculation, though, a change which was both perplexing and disturbing all at once.

Heedless of the war of thoughts that was going through her partner's mind, Ukyo continued. "I'm sorry, Ranchan. That creep knows who you are now **and** where you live. He might come after you."

"I could take that thing no problem. Especially after you two worked him over." Well, he probably could. "You guys did pretty good. His arm was all messed up." Ranma's voice did have a little bit of rebuke in it, though.

Both girls knew how he was when it came to seriously hurting an opponent. Even people who tried to kill him on a regular basis would only get marginally hurt in return. Ukyo had the grace to look somewhat chastised, but Shampoo huffed.

"Shampoo kill cow if she see it again." Ranma looked up at her sharply, but the other teen held his gaze.

After a long moment, the boy looked away. Instead of arguing more, he turned to the doctor. "So what's wrong with them, Doc?"

Tofu let out a breath. "What isn't? Shampoo broke a rib and a finger. Ukyo has a bruised collarbone, a concussion, and a pinched nerve in her back." A veritable laundry list of injuries. Tofu hadn't seen things like this in the last few months. "Like I said before, I've given them both morphine, but that will wear off in a few hours. They really shouldn't be moving for at least a few days."

"Can I go home at least?" Ukyo asked. "I don't think Ranchan's health would benefit from the both of us staying here." She shot a glare at Akane which was met by the short-haired girl.

"If you rest until this afternoon, it will probably be alright for you both to head home," Tofu stated. "I've corrected the nerve damage in your back, but you will still have problems moving around. Not to mention that collarbone will need at least two weeks of bed rest."

Then he turned to Shampoo. "You'll need to avoid strenuous activities as well. A broken rib that close to your lung will take four to eight weeks to heal and you can do nothing but rest in bed for the first week."

The Amazon looked slightly overwhelmed with that prognosis. "No can help great grandmother in restaurant for whole week?" She honestly didn't know how Cologne would take that.

"I've been to your restaurant, Shampoo," Tofu deadpanned. "Frankly, I would recommend you don't help there for your entire recovery. Even after four weeks, you run the risk of breaking the bone again due to it being brittle. When I say rest, I mean just that; no acrobatics, martial arts, or fast-paced waitressing."

A silence fell over the house as both Ukyo and Shampoo absorbed this information. Not only could they not get revenge for their injuries, they couldn't go back to their normal lives.

The spell was broken when Ranma let out a breath and rose from his seated position between the two.

"Where do you think you're going, boy?" Genma asked.

"Where do you think, pops?! To go get this pantyhose wearing freak and pound the crap out of him!"

Akane, though somewhat mad at how personal her fiancée' was taking this, didn't grab any blunt objects. "It's not your business, Ranma! They probably did something to him."

Cries of outrage and warning erupted from the two invalids, but it was Ranma himself who's voice carried the sharpest tone. "I don't care! Do you see what that guy did to them?!" he demanded, gesturing to the many bandages now covering his friends. "I don't care what they did because no one deserves that. Besides, they were bird watching! Who starts a fight over bird watching?"

There was another long stretch of silence before Nabiki cut in with, "What do you mean by bird watching, Ranma?"

"Well, they had binoculars and were up on a roof. What else would they be doing?" he asked, though it was obvious he was dubious about his own conclusion.

"...sometimes you can be a real idiot, Saotome."

By this time Ukyo was panicking. So, he had noticed the binoculars. Obviously no one bought they were out bird watching. She sent Shampoo a worried gaze which was returned several fold. They both knew this was starting to look bad.

"I think it's time you told us what you were doing up on that roof, Ukyo," Akane demanded. "It's some plot, isn't it?! I bet it's some kind of love potion or something!"

"From that far away, Akane?" Nabiki snorted. "No, no. It's obvious what's going on here." A devilish smirk formed and everyone around her shivered. At least it wasn't directed at her own family for a change. "Simple, really, if you look at all the facts."

Had the girl worked it out? Shampoo didn't want to believe it, but Nabiki was smart. There was no question about that. She also had her fingers in everything that was anything in Nerima. Had she somehow found out about the truce? Going to Nodoka's house? Just how much?!

"You two..."

Ukyo was almost shaking by this point. She could see how this would play out if the truth was exposed.

"...were definitely..."

Maybe the doctor was wrong? Shampoo felt like she could probably run away before Nabiki could complete her thought. Ranma was between her and the outer wall, though, and there was no way Ukyo could run with her. For a moment, she thought about just leaving the chef to take all of the fall, but her damn pride wouldn't let her do it. A deal was a deal and they had promised in blood. Damn Amazon laws! Resigned, Shampoo grimly stared upwards, intent on weathering out the accusations where she was. If it was to all come out then it would all come out and they'd have a grand argument. Things would blow over, probably, eventually.

"...watching Ranma when he got all sweaty while exorcising!" Nabiki jumped up, pointing dramatically at the two stunned girls. Indeed, the entire room was speechless.

Ukyo, red as a tomato, was about to object out of pure principle when Shampoo let out a loud "Aiyaa!"

"Mercenary girl find out horrible secret!" The Amazon had put on her best mortified look. When Ukyo just stared at her, she kicked the chef in the shin. "Nabiki too too smart for Ukyo and Shampoo."

The other girl caught on. "R-Right! U-Um...we...we were watching Ranchan...working out." Oh god, if there were anything more embarrassing than this Ukyo prayed she'd never find out. It beat getting busted for their actual plot, though. She risked a look up at Ranma to gauge his reaction and quickly looked back at the floor when their eyes met. At least he was just as embarrassed.

While Akane's mouth was still flapping open and closed like a fish, Nabiki nodded sagely. "I thought so. You two should have just bought pictures from me. I sell them by the dozen." She sighed, thinking of all that lost yen.

"**Sao-to-me." **Soun's demon head already had Genma in a quivering heap on the floor. **"How could you make Ranma practice outside when he should be showing off only for Akane!"**

While the old men argued, Shampoo nudged Ukyo to get her attention. There was a small smile on her lips that seemed to say _"we really dodged a bullet"_ along with a healthy sense of relief. The other teen could only agree.

"Sorry about that, Ranchan," Ukyo whispered. Ranma had sat back down far out of hitting range from any interested parties. "It...it was a spur of the moment thing." Even though it wasn't true, it was still embarrassing.

Ranma could only blush and nod. When he got his voice back, he glanced at them out of the corner of his eye. "Just as long as you two don't turn into perverts like the old freak."

Of course, Akane eventually got her voice back and started yelling at her fiancée' and things quickly devolved from there. Soun was still scolding Genma and Nabiki had run off to her room with promises of getting her photo ordering catalog for the two girls.

"Shampoo think that could have been worse," the Amazon said once everyone else was distracted.

"I agree, sugar. It could have been a **lot** worse." Ukyo idly watched Kasumi, who had been sequestered in the kitchen while Tofu was doing his job, walk towards the front of the house. "I think we'll have to put off our fight for a bit, though."

The purple-haired girl agreed. Neither were in any kind of shape for a match. Surprisingly, though, that didn't bother her. "We extend truce for few months. Shampoo no mind," she said, giving the chef a hesitant, but honest, smile.

Ukyo couldn't help but return it. In a way, Ukyo knew she was playing with fire; getting too close to Shampoo was a problem that would certainly come back to bite her in the ass down the road. Only one person could win, after all, and anything other than rivalry or hate would get in the way of that. Still, she couldn't help but consider the Amazon as a friend. Putting off any kind of confrontation would only solidify those problems, but for even a few more weeks of illusionary peace it was worth it.

That was, of course, until Kasumi's voice cut through the arguments, scolding, and friendly conversation. She was at the front door and what she said made the two partner's blood run cold.

"Hello, Auntie Nodoka."

...maybe jumping over the wall and leaving Shampoo to hold the bag wasn't such a bad idea after all.


End file.
